Father Anderson

Dumount enters Ander's office knocking on the door
<Dumount>: "evening father. I'm going to admit I'm not really religious but…. well, I need to unload my troubles, and since Rights is nearing her happy day I'd rather not do it on her…"
<Father_Anders>: "Come in!" Anders hangs up his coat and hat, and lays his shotgun across the top of his desk.
<Father_Anders>: "Yes, I am sorry we didn't get the chance to talk sooner, Doctor. My ears are open."
Dumount takes a seat, then watches anders a moment. He seems a bit… shy about talking. Finaly he speaks "I'm a doctor. It's my duty to preserve life. But because of my… bedside manner and effincy I have to kill 10 people a day, and most of my work is autopsies and SCPs instead of caring for humans"
<Father_Anders>: "You mentioned this to me once before, when I first arrived," Anders takes a seat and listens.
<Dumount>: "Well… I find it… bothersome and hard… I'm becoming someone who I wasn't. And it's not someone I want to become."
Dumount seems to… for a moment, have catslit eyes but those vanish like they were just an optical illusion
<Father_Anders>: "Unfortunately, Doctor Dumount, our duties to the Foundation and the whole of humanity require us to be different from those in normal society."
<Dumount>: "The problem is I'm not here willingly… I was basically kidnapped off the streets."
<Father_Anders>: "Dumount, you were there when I was 'recruited.'"
<Dumount>: "I have a bomb in my chest, subliminal programming, and extensive plastic surgery so I barely remember my own face… and… well…"
<Dumount>: "Yes well… I know you had a traumatic recruitment too… *Sigh* I shouldn't whine about mine it's just.. I'm losing my identity"
<Dumount>: "I'm forgetting who I am"
<Father_Anders>: "You certainly have reason to complain. As for who you are, Doctor… who you are is the combination of your thoughts and actions. You are in control of those, even if your outer circumstances have been forced upon you. So, tell me, who do you want to be?"
<Dumount>: "I wish I was more in control of my own thoughts and actions… but I'm as human as everyone else… and… I've been abandoning my morals to survive here… I want to be a doctor. I want to be a preserver of life… you know? I mean, you're a preist, you care for people's souls… I'm supposed to care for their bodies"
Father_Anders smiles thinly, "God will care for their souls. I am here to help keep the world from ending prematurely."
<Dumount>: "but yeah… the reason I'm here.. isn't so much that as… well… I think I'm haunted. Or something. My dreams have… gotten odd"
<Father_Anders>: "Tell me about them, then. Perhaps we can isolate their source."
<Dumount>: "Well… they start the same. I'm on a plateu, surrounded by hundreds of people who claim to be me. And I reject them. I think they're… a foundation brainwashing thing. But they keep telling me that they're me and that I'm just… a mask like the rest of them"
<Dumount>: "And then that dream ends and a segue into my normal dreams"
<Father_Anders>: "How are these other people different from you?"
<Dumount>: "Apperence… sometimes behavior and attitude but the one thing they all have in common is they're doctors. They often come with… their own memories that I can touch and feel"
<Father_Anders>: "Where do you think those memories originated?"
<Dumount>: "A… greek man who experemented on spartian soldiers with primitive cures for disease… a holocaust survivor swearing to be a doctor to fix man's wrongs… a nazi doctor experementing on shoa victims… shooting two men, watching the blood flow somewhere in chicago during the gang wars…"
<Dumount>: "I don't know where they came from. But they're vivid"
<Dumount>: "Movies maybe?"
<Father_Anders>: "They don't seem to be past lives, as the Nazi doctor and the Holocaust survivor would have been contemporary. But you do not feel that they are YOUR memories, then?"
<Dumount>: "They… feel like mine when I… experence them in the dream"
<Dumount>: "But I… seperate myself from them when I wake"
<Dumount>: "I'm a gypsie, from Romania. I moved to america for college, and managed to get rid of my accent. that's my history… I think. If I could see my own face in the mirror… but I can't. I see this… bland face, that's not my own"
<Father_Anders>: "Perhaps they are artifacts of your imagination, a reflection of your worry that you are losing yourself. As for your face, well, I once knew a man who had been disfigured by an accident. His face was horribly burned. He was still the same man behind it."
<Dumount>: "All of this would be less bothersome if I wasn't… waking up female, or with the wrong colored hair… and lurker… lurker tells me sometimes I… change in front of him for a few moments… I… I think that's partly a trick of the light and… I've seen the doccuments for myself they say 'keep disoriented at all times. because it increases loyalty'
Dumount sighs
<Father_Anders>: "I am about to give you advice that you will not enjoy, Doctor."
<Dumount>: "Anyway… That's my litteny of problems. I sound so… agnsty talking about them"
<Dumount>: "… Alright?"
<Father_Anders>: "Be loyal to the Foundation. It is our fate to be here. If you would serve willingly, they would not need to interfere with you so much."
<Dumount>: "I've worked to prove my loyalty. I do everything ordered from me. And still they mess with me. They even took away the level 3 clearence that I had been enjoying"
<Dumount>: "And I have been nothing but loyal. Annoying perhaps, but loyal"
<Father_Anders>: "You did not display this loyalty when you saved my life, as grateful as I am for that."
<Dumount>: "Ah, but I saved your life by rational debate with the team leader"
<Dumount>: "If I can convince my superiors to change their minds, this is still loyalty"
<Father_Anders>: "Dumount, in retrospect, I am grateful that my friends and family died in an explosion rather than as fodder for the spiders. I sometimes even envy them, given the things I now know. You must not only be loyal, but in control. Rational. Consider the far ranging consequences of your actions before speaking up."
<Dumount>: "Bit hard to be rational in this madhouse. I behave in reasonable ways: for example repremanding others for attempting intercourse with 347. Telling people not to taunt 682"
<Dumount>: "And… they hate me for it. I tell strelnikov to stop smoking, to stop shouting about gypsies… and he hates me for it"
<Father_Anders>: "Maybe they are trying to tell you something in return?"
<Dumount>: "I never make an agessive action… I get attacked, kicked, bitten, shot full of tranqualizers…"
<Dumount>: "What do you think they're tring to tell me? Quit following the book?"
<Father_Anders>: "Does the book tell you to follow Captain Strelnikov and nag him about smoking?"
<Dumount>: "Yes. it says I'm partly responcible for his health. And I've even stopped nagging him and he STILL hates me and acts agressivly"
<Father_Anders>: "What interactions have you had with Captain Strelnikov that were non-hostile, that is to say, did not involve you complaining about his behavior or him tormenting you in return?"
<Dumount>: "Putting him back together after he gets shot up, and when we work together on missions is some of it"
<Father_Anders>: "Why do you think those interactions go better than your usual ones?"
<Dumount>: "Because he needs me"
<Father_Anders>: "I think you are wrong about that. I think that what you want, is to be needed."
<Dumount>: "… I'm a doctor. It's part of what I am to be needed. An uneeded doctor's about as useful as an unnedded arm"
<Father_Anders>: "On the contrary, an unneeded doctor should be the happiest man on Earth. Everyone would be well! It is not likely to happen, but do you see how you cling to the idea that you must be needed somewhere? Let it go. Tragedy will happen, every day it continues. That is the nature of this world. Be at peace with it."
<Dumount>: "But if there's nothing for me to do… what can I do?"
<Father_Anders>: "Whatever you want! It's your choice. You must be in control of yourself, and choose your path, rather than trying to have some control over everyone else around you. You do not need to walk into a room and find someone to yell at."
<Dumount>: "I don't yell particularly often. Mostly I speak quietly"
<Father_Anders>: "Yet you will charge into a room towards a woman who is speaking with someone else and tell her that 'her lady parts are manky.'"
<Dumount>: "… Yes well… Usualy I'm better behaved then that. That was frusteration speaking"
<Dumount>: "Usualy I only tease Rights, and I do so gently"
<Father_Anders>: "Why were you frustrated? Was it because one of your patients was speaking to someone else?"
<Dumount>: "no. Mostly it was because of yoric"
<Dumount>: "Well, that and a few other things, all of which added up"
<Father_Anders>: "I have seen that you and Yoric do not get along well. I will speak to him about this sometime if you like. But I believe this supports my theory that you are trying to exercise control over others because you do not have control over yourself."
<Dumount>: "I have control over myself. I am capable of slipping into a professional facade when I need it, or want it"
<Dumount>: "But people tend to react worse to me when I act that way in a social situation"
Dumount sighs "I… just don't really understand"
<Father_Anders>: "But you cannot stop Yoric from tormenting you, and you cannot stop the Foundation from influencing your mind, therefore you make crass comments towards an unrelated woman."
<Dumount>: "… To be fair that's the first time I've done that"
<Dumount>: "Usualy I just make crass comments about rights, to rights, where no one else can hear. And she laughs"
<Father_Anders>: "I think it is on a par with your demands that Captain Strelnikov cease smoking and change his behaviour, and your other attempts to care for people by telling them what to do."
<Father_Anders>: "Rights cares for you. She is a good friend."
<Dumount>: "Yes. She is. What's funny is… there's really no doubt about it. I mean, I'm sure with any other woman there might be… a hint of… I dunno… something other then just freindship…"
<Father_Anders>: "Rights has a very open attitude towards romance. But she has committed herself to Lurker. I would not recommend seeing her as more than a friend."
<Dumount>: "But… that's sorta a side tract. I try to help her when she has problems… and avoid burdening her with mine when she's too happy. And she does the same to me"
<Dumount>: "And I have no romantic feelings for her"
<Dumount>: "She's a freind. Almost a sister"
<Father_Anders>: "But you think there would be something other than friendship between you."
<Dumount>: "If she was any other woman and we were interacting… in that way? Yes"
<Dumount>: "But she's not any other woman"
Father_Anders purses his lips and thinks for a moment.
<Father_Anders>: "Well, Doctor, my advice to you as a colleague is to let go of your concerns. You must focus on yourself, and do your duty. Even though it is unpleasant, it is very necessary. You are needed, after all. As for your interactions with the others, have the serenity to accept the things you cannot change about them."
<Dumount>: "Serenity… Well…. I'll try father…"
<Father_Anders>: "Good! Is there anything else I can do for you, my friend?"
<Dumount>: "Well… Take good care of my paitent's souls while I care for their bodies. And be well"
Dumount offers hand to shake
Father_Anders takes Dumount's hand but shakes his head, "Their souls are in God's hands. My tasks are elsewhere. Take care, Doctor."
<Dumount>: "You too father"
Dumount ducks out quietly

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