Dmitri

*Agent_Strelnikov storms into Bright's office with the massive battle rifle on his shoulder still.

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Doktor Bright. Sorries for appearance, but I was just victim of a…uh….some sort of cruel joke."

*Agent_Strelnikov unslings the rifle and leans it in the corner of the office. "I am report as ordered."

Bright> "Please, have a seat Dmitri."

Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes sir." He sits down in front of the desk.

Bright> "How do you like your work here at the Foundation, Agent?"

*Agent_Strelnikov thinks for a moment.

Agent_Strelnikov> "…I have work here since…..2002, yes? I am enjoy it very much."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I am honored to lead Mobile Task Force."

Bright> "So, you're happy here?"

*Agent_Strelnikov senses this is building into a trick question somehow, some way.

Agent_Strelnikov> "I am happy with the work, if that is what you ask, Doktor Bright."

Bright> "Good, good." Making notes. "If you could have any job, what would it be?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "Any job, with Foundation?"

Bright> "Or without."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I would have my current job. There is no question in my mind." He says it deadpan, and without pausing.

*Agent_Strelnikov smells oddly like burnt cordite and gunpowder.

Bright> "Tell me about a time when you came up with an innovative solution to a challenge your company/class/organization was facing. What was the challenge? What role did others play?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "…." He thinks for a few moments.

Agent_Strelnikov> "..Hm."

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Once there was a village in Chechnya, was filled with rebels."

Agent_Strelnikov> "We have try for weeks to push through it, clear it out but no, they hold on. Very tough fighters."

Agent_Strelnikov> "One day on a patrol we find one of them taking the shit, so we capture him, yes?"

*Bright nods

Agent_Strelnikov> "We had just get done having boar roast. We shoot two of them and cook, but was not yet. Bodies were still laying in open."

Agent_Strelnikov> "So we take him into camps and we show him these dead pigs. They are Muslim, so they are fear the pig."

*Agent_Strelnikov giggles a bit.

Agent_Strelnikov> "We tell…we tell him."

Agent_Strelnikov> "That if they are not stand down, we launch cloud of 'pig gas' into the village. This, naturally, is damn them all for hell to eternity, yes?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "So he is look at us wide-eyed, not wanting to believe, until I stab him in the arm with bayonet. Then he cooperate."

Agent_Strelnikov> "We push him toward village and send him off. Village puts up white flag of surrender."

Agent_Strelnikov> "Then we napalm it."

Agent_Strelnikov> "….Is this answer you were looking for, Doktor Bright?"

*Bright nods his head, checking some things off on his list. "Hmm, yes. Now then, Describe a time when you got co-workers or classmates who dislike each other to work together. How did you accomplish this? What was the outcome?"

*Agent_Strelnikov thinks again. "Same place actually."

Agent_Strelnikov> "We are try to debate how to take village, yes?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "And I finds two privates arguing about this. So being Lieutenant at time, I take interest in this."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I listen."

Agent_Strelnikov> "Neither of them can make agreements on tactics."

Agent_Strelnikov> "They tell me they think Captain at time was wrong for his plan."

Agent_Strelnikov> "So I kick both of them in the ass and make them clean latrines for a week. They did not complain after this."

*Agent_Strelnikov seems satisfied.

Bright> "Describe the last time that you undertook a project that demanded a lot of initiative. How long have you been a traitor to the Foundation?"

*Agent_Strelnikov cocks his head to one side.

Agent_Strelnikov> "I have never been traitor to Foundation or my homeland, Doktor Bright."

Bright> "And the other half of the question?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Well."

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Hm."

Agent_Strelnikov> "Once, on patrol we run into hidden machine gun nest."

Agent_Strelnikov> "It was pin down squads 2 and 3, but mine was ok."

*Agent_Strelnikov supplements this with hand motions.

Agent_Strelnikov> "So I run around on flank and I hit them from side. I think I bayonet both of them in the neck, Doktor Bright."

Agent_Strelnikov> "That was a nice machine gun too, German. I still wonders how they got it."

Bright> "If you could terminate…sorry, fire, one associate, who would it be?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Anyone?"

Bright> "Anyone, senior staff, O5, anyone."

*Agent_Strelnikov leans over Bright's desk slightly and says without hesitation.

Agent_Strelnikov> "I would terminate Doktor Iceberg."

Agent_Strelnikov> "For what he has just done to me. Doktor Bright."

Bright> "Permission denied. But feel free to rough him up for that little stunt. Although… He has some slight protection at the moment. I'd advise getting even in a creative manner."

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Do you has suggestion, Doktor Bright? I am all ears."

Bright> "I avoid suggestions. But I'm sure 105 would be willing to help you. Now, what is your favorite sexual position?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "Se-…"

*Agent_Strelnikov turns red.

Agent_Strelnikov> "Doktor Bright! What is this have to do with work?!"

*Bright smiles. That, Dmitri, is for me to know."

Agent_Strelnikov> "…."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I like…eh…I like the sex position. I am not know what you call it."

Agent_Strelnikov> "But there is also, eh…"

Bright> "Missionary or doggy?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "Well."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I am not know what these words means, sorries."

Agent_Strelnikov> "But I answer with motorboat. Motorboat is my answer."

*Bright chuckles. "Right then. Do you have any questions for me?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "Why can I not terminate Doktor Iceberg."

Agent_Strelnikov> "He has humiliate me in way I have not thought was possible, Doktor Bright."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I can not even describes this in English."

*Agent_Strelnikov jabs a thumb at the rifle behind him. "Is good thing you have told me, that rifle is for him."

Bright> "Iceberg is still useful. Tell you what. Best way to get back at him? Smile at him. Every time you see him, grin. Act as if you have something planned, and, from time to time act surprised to see him still alive. It'll make him paranoid as fuck. Vengeance is a dish best served cold."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I cannot do this, Doktor Bright. I am a Russian. We are not smart enough for hold in our anger like that."

Agent_Strelnikov> "…Maybe you let me borrow your cane for a moment? I promise I not kill him."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I gives you my word as Captain."

Bright> "Also? Be sure to kiss Break in front of him a lot." Bright pauses. "Even if it's an order?"

Agent_Strelnikov> "I kiss Break in front of him, this I can do."

Agent_Strelnikov> "Is funny, really. I take her on wonderful date, and I come homes to this."

*Bright glances at his computer, then smiles. "Yes, being with Break will hurt him more than your fists. Also…" Bright passes over the cane. "Give him a jolt and tell him it's his turn."

Agent_Strelnikov> "…" He stands and salutes Bright.

Agent_Strelnikov> "I leave my weapon here for…eh…how is it. Collateral."

*Bright salutes casually back. "Good man."

Agent_Strelnikov> "I thanks you, sir. I be right back with this."

*Agent_Strelnikov turns on a bootheel and marches out of the office at a brisk pace.

Bright> "Keep it til’ tomorrow.”

AFTER ZAPPING THE SHIT OUT OF ICEBERG IN THE BREAKROOM

*Agent_Strelnikov walks in and tosses the cane down on Bright's desk.

Agent_Strelnikov> "I thanks you." He picks up the Mosin Nagant and heads out.

*Bright waves goodbye.

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