Day 1

• Gerald looks out the window of the plane as it takes off.
• Agent_Strelnikov sleeps for the first time in three days. He sleeps but good.
• Samantha-Raelin took the seat next to Gerald for the flight, falling asleep and resting her head on his shoulder.
• Agent_Strelnikov has nobody. Nobody at all.
• Gerald is smiling throughout the flight. At least, until he nods off, as well.
• Samantha-Raelin As they all drift off, the arrival in Moscow International Airport is swift.
• Samantha-Raelin Apparently, the SCP has their own private airstrip here, under the Siberian Coal Production name.
• Gerald wakes up as they land.
• Agent_Strelnikov continues to doze.

<Gerald> "Huh. That was quick."

• SCP-347 jerks awake, and grabs another bag oh god landing airplane BLERGH
• Agent_Strelnikov is completely at home in the aircraft. Still asleep despite the woman VOMITING.

<Gerald> "You okay, Claudia?"

• Samantha-Raelin wakes up Strelnikov, and gets off the airplane, helping get all their baggage in order. A limo arrives for them.
• Agent_Strelnikov wakes with a snort. "Huh."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Oh."
<SCP-347> "Mfine. Hng."

• SCP-347 is good. She re-wraps her face for this.
• Agent_Strelnikov puts his flask away and stands. Apparently he slept with it in his hand.
• Agent_Strelnikov puts a hand on what he thinks is Claudia's shoulder.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "….Come on now. Is only plane trip."

• Samantha-Raelin yells back. "Don't worry, I've got your bags in the car, Claudia."
• SCP-347 nods. "I'm fine, I'm fine…just motion sickness, ugh."
• SCP-347 hurries after Samantha. She looks kinda ridiculous, actually, with no skin exposed.
• Agent_Strelnikov shrugs and steps down the stairs and hops into the limo. "….I have never ride in limo before."

<SCP-347> "Thanks, Sam."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Not a problem."

• Gerald grabs his luggage and walks out with Sam towards the limo.
• Samantha-Raelin gets into the Limo. "Can't believe we're really here. I mean, the paperwork was tough enough, but I didn't think it would really happen."

<SCP-347> "I like limos…sneaking into them on prom nights was fun."
<SCP-347> "You could mess with kids. There was this one city, ooh, the rumors after prom night was that some girl at prom got murdered years ago and her ghost was haunting the area."

• Gerald gets into the limo, sitting next to Sam.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Oh my gods is this a bar?"

• Samantha-Raelin smiles. "Sneaking is one thing. Stealing one during a 5 hour diplomatic conference to go out to an New Dehli nightclub is another."
• Agent_Strelnikov begins looking for alcohol.

<Gerald> "….What."

• Samantha-Raelin looks at Gerald. "It was 5 hours! And I was 17!"

<SCP-347> "…Samantha?"
<SCP-347> "I think I love you."

• Gerald chuckles.

<SCP-347> "Just don't expect me to eat you out. I ain't no carpet-muncher."

• Samantha-Raelin laughs. "Oh, I found my ways to have fun."
• SCP-347 chuckles.

<Gerald> "First limo ride for me, actually."

• Samantha-Raelin laughs with her. "Oh, this is going to be a fun trip, isn't it?"

<Agent_Strelnikov> "I shows you fun places in Moscow."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is my hometown!"
<Samantha-Raelin> "Well, first we need to get to the townhouse."
<Gerald> "Where is the townhouse, anyway?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "About 10 kilometers outside of Moscow."

• Gerald nods.

<SCP-347> "First time in another country…huh."

• Agent_Strelnikov seems jumpy and excited.
• Samantha-Raelin looks to 347. "You know, I thought about taking you after that fight."

<Gerald> "Glad to be back home, Dmitri?"
<SCP-347> "Why?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "Your problem isn't a need for psychotherapy, you just need to be treated like a human."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes, very much. I have not see Moscow since I leave."
<SCP-347> "…maybe you're right." The bandages around her face shift. She's smiling. "Would be nice if I remembered how to act like one, too."
<Samantha-Raelin> "If you are or not, you want to be treated like a normal person, and until people start doing that, you'll never get anywhere."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Well, hopefully a nice relaxing vacation out in the country will be an excellent refresher."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes. I just….I neededs time away."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I have had too much on my mind."
<SCP-347> "Hopefully…" She looks back out the window. So much SPACE and things. After years in the foundation, it's almost impossible for her to take it all in.

• Gerald nods. "I know what you mean."

<Samantha-Raelin> <Time passes, as you leave Moscow city limits, and arrive at the cottage.>
<Samantha-Raelin> [ http://www.warrencottage.com/graphics/cottage3.jpg ]
<SCP-347> "…That is adorable."
<Gerald> "Cozy looking."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is very much like home."
<SCP-347> "It's very cute."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I get our bags."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "You go aheads and go inside."

• SCP-347 seems…reluctant to leave the car, though, like there's a physical barrier between her and that big expanse of lawn.
• Samantha-Raelin takes 347's hand. "Cmon, you'll love it."
• Agent_Strelnikov hops out and begins unloading baggage from the trunk, as if he were a host.
• Gerald gets out of the limo and looks around.
• SCP-347 awkwardly steps out. Even covered up, she clearly doesn't not seem like she's terribly comfortable outside.

<SCP-347> "…s'nice out…"
<Agent_Strelnikov> [ http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/10115656.jpg ]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Quite appropriate]

• Samantha-Raelin nods, and leads her inside.

<Samantha-Raelin> [That will be the view]
<Gerald> "Wow."

• SCP-347 lets herself be led inside, still looking around curiously. It'd been so long…she takes off her sunglasses. "…wow."
• Agent_Strelnikov brings the bags in and sets them in the entrance.
• Samantha-Raelin The Cottage is a lovely little 3 bedroom setup, with a kitchen, laundry, and a stock of meats and vegetables fresh from the harvest. She knew how to pick 'em.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "….Thanks you, Ms. Raelin. This means much to me."

• Samantha-Raelin leads 347 to her room on the second floor, next to her's and Geralds. Strelnikov's was on the first, near the Kitchen.
• Gerald stays out for a minute or two longer, admiring the view. He walks inside.

<SCP-347> "Yeah, this is amazing…"

• SCP-347 settles into her room, wandering around it and checking out the closets and view from the window.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I was more than happy to. After all, if I'd booked this place for myself I'd just be wasting it."
<SCP-347> "Mm.." Claudia's distracted by a bird flying by. "…still, thank you."
<SCP-347> "…Where's the restroom?"

• Gerald admires the cottage.
• Agent_Strelnikov seems completely at home here.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Down the hall."

• Agent_Strelnikov carries his suitcase into his room and unpacks
• Samantha-Raelin pats Strelnikov on the shoulder. "I'm guessing I did good by you?"
• Agent_Strelnikov throws his arms around Samantha. It should be answer enough.

<Gerald> "This is going to be a great vacation."

• Samantha-Raelin smiles, hugging him back. "Glad to know it, Ruskie."
• Agent_Strelnikov looks away and wipes his eyes, trying to hide his face.
• Samantha-Raelin heads upstairs and starts unpacking.
• Gerald steps into his and Sam's room, and unpacks.
• Gerald decides that he would look ridiculous in anything other than his labcoat.
• Agent_Strelnikov walks around downstairs, admiring the house.
• Samantha-Raelin undresses and dresses as Gerald unpacks, getting into some light casual clothing,
• Agent_Strelnikov walks into the kitchen and examines the stock.
• Gerald turns a bit red as Sam changes.
• Samantha-Raelin ends up in a shirt and coat, with long slacks. It may be summer, but it's still a touch chilly.

<Gerald> "So, er, what's our first stop going to be?"

• Agent_Strelnikov riffles through the pantry. There is a full bottle of vodka in here, natch.
• Agent_Strelnikov grabs it and sets it on the table for later.
• Samantha-Raelin heads downstairs with Gerald in tow. "It's the ruskie's trip, so ask him."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Hm?"
<Gerald> "Okay."
<Gerald> "Dmitri, what's our first stop going to be?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Well."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I thought we go into town and look arounds. I show you No. 2 Dzerzhinisky Square, yes?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is old KGB headquarters."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Big prison underneath."
<Gerald> "Ah."

• Samantha-Raelin grins. "Sounds good. Didn't you claim you were going to have me executed there, in Siberia?"

<Gerald> "Wait, what?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Oh yeah. Hah."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles awkwardly.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "This is past."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Remember, Gerald? Is when you played idiot savant."
<Gerald> "…Right. How could I forget."

• Gerald sighs.
• Samantha-Raelin laughs. "Oh, that was a good time. More when you guys rescued me, than the time spent."

<Gerald> "Heh."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "We can goes whenever you are ready."
<Samantha-Raelin> "We're waiting on Claudia."
<Gerald> "I'd like a drink first, the ride here made me thirsty."
<Gerald> "What do we have in the pantry?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Vodka."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "….And water?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "Some juices too, apparently."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "So that is what that is. Huh."
<Samantha-Raelin> "There's a basement, too, stocked with preserves."
<Gerald> "Ah." He grabs the bottle of vodka, pulls a glass out of one of the cabinets, and pours himself a drink.
<Samantha-Raelin> "I'll have one too."

• Gerald pours another glass and hands it to Sam.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "I wait, actually."

• Gerald is smiling as he does it.
• Agent_Strelnikov steps to the window and looks outside, hands clasped behind his back.
• Samantha-Raelin grabs her vodka, taking a drink. "Ah…wonderful."

<Samantha-Raelin> "From what I can tell, there's plenty more where this came from."

• Samantha-Raelin imagines some fun once night falls.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "I am glads you come with me."
<Gerald> "Hey, are we going to see where you used to live while we're here, Dmitri?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Even home, I would still be lonely."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles to himself. "Maybe."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "When we have see everything else, maybe."

• Gerald nods, taking another drink of vodka.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I'm glad to be company, ruskie. This place is a dream."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles again. "Is a dream for me too."

<Gerald> "You could say that again."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "What is keep Claudia?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "She's probably getting painted."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "You, eh….had quite the little scrap with her today, yes?"

• Gerald drinks his vodka quietly.
• Samantha-Raelin smirks. "Well, why don't you tell me? I could hear you banging on the other side of the window."
• Samantha-Raelin takes another drink. It was a splendid potato vodka.
• Agent_Strelnikov coughs and adjusts his collar. "Well, uh. Yes. Was quite the show."
• Gerald can't help but laugh quietly.
• Samantha-Raelin giggles. "I must admit, it was an interesting interlude."

<Gerald> "I honestly thought somebody was going to get hurt." He's still laughing. "Then Claudia…ripped off Sam's shirt, everybody called Dumount an ass, and next thing you know, we're all good friends."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "We would make great TV show."
<Gerald> "Heh."
<Samantha-Raelin> "I guess I finally understood her, after all that."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I think we visit St. Basil's first."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Everyone is associate this building with Moscow."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "So we get it out of way first."
<Gerald> "Alright."

• Agent_Strelnikov hopes Claudia comes back soon!
• SCP-347 skips down the stairs. She's changed clothes, but is still covered head-to-toe, bandages. She even as a wig.

<Gerald> "Oh. Hello Claudia."
<Samantha-Raelin> "I thought you were going to get painted?"

• Agent_Strelnikov turns from the window and smiles at Claudia.

<SCP-347> "The paint just needs a few minutes to set. Also, you'll need to tell me if I've got any discolored spots…"

• SCP-347 smiles. Her mouth is visable through the bandages some, her teeth painted white somehow.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Well then, shall we be off?"
<Gerald> "Alright then."

• Samantha-Raelin Outside is a rented four-door sedan, nice and modest enough for their needs.

<SCP-347> "Right…here, hold this." She takes the wig off, handing it to Dmitri for a second, before carefully starting to unwrap her face…she's surprisingly skilled. "Rights got me an airbrush kit to practice with a while back…how do I look?"

• Agent_Strelnikov holds Claudia's wig awkwardly and looks at her.
• Gerald looks up and down at Claudia.

<Samantha-Raelin> [ http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/vehicle-pictures/2010/honda/civic/09802031990002-480.jpg ]

• SCP-347 doesn't look too bad. If you ignored the fact that her scalp and the back of her head were still eerily hollow, she'd seem like an younger woman of mixed race. Granted, the fact that she has no eyes or eyelids is a little…terrifying.
• Samantha-Raelin looks her over. "It's very impressive work."
• Agent_Strelnikov smiles. "Pretty."
• SCP-347 takes the wig back. She looks a bit like she went crazy with makeup, though. The lips are a bit too vivid, and the skin a bit too…smooth. But it'll do. "Thanks…never thought I'd be an artist, but…you live, you learn."
• Samantha-Raelin works with the Foundation. No eyes doesn't even register for her.
• Gerald nods. "You look nice."
• SCP-347 puts the wig and the sunglasses back on. Her neck down is still covered, but it works.

<SCP-347> "Still kind of freaky…not the face I remember."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "You were not always likes this?"

• Samantha-Raelin throws the keys over to Strelnikov. "You drive, ruskie."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes ma'am."

• Agent_Strelnikov twirls the keys on a finger.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I don't think we know how you became invisible, actually."
<SCP-347> "Beats the hell out of me."
<SCP-347> "I was thirteen."
<SCP-347> "I just woke up one day and wondered why my mom wouldn't stop screaming when I went to get breakfast."

• Samantha-Raelin There's a small note on the keychain, hand written. "Iron Curtain would be proud."

<Gerald> "Huh." He piles into the back seat.

• SCP-347 pauses and frowns. "…Things went downhill from there. But eh…that's a while back."
• Agent_Strelnikov finally notices the note and smiles happily.
• Samantha-Raelin gets into the back seat with Gerald.
• SCP-347 seems a lot more…confident with a face that can be seen, although her expressions are clear and unmasked.

<SCP-347> "So…where are we headed?"

• SCP-347 takes the passenger seat.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Ruskie's taking us on a tour."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "We go into Moscow first. See the cathedral and get it out of the way."
<Gerald> "St. Basil's."
<SCP-347> "I like cathedrals and churches…"
<Agent_Strelnikov> After driving along the country roads, he pulls onto a semi-modern highway and enters traffic.
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is about like I remember it. Much traffic now. Was not always this way, though."

• Agent_Strelnikov pulls off at an exit and enters the city traffic.
• SCP-347 seems to be fascinated enough just watching traffic.

<Agent_Strelnikov> After poking along through a few traffic jams, they finally reach the Cathedral He parks literally on a sidewalk.
<Agent_Strelnikov> And somehow forgot a period in there.
<SCP-347> "..Is this legal?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "No. But as long as the miltiamen do not see, we be fine.

• Gerald looks in awe at the cathedral.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "
<Gerald> "Wow."
<Agent_Strelnikov> [ http://www.richard-seaman.com/Wallpaper/Travel/Europe/StBasilsSouthSide.jpg ]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Everyone is think of this when they think of Moscow."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes yes, very pretties. Is get boring when you see it every day."

• Gerald chuckles. "Guess I'm just another tourist, then."
• Samantha-Raelin isn't that impressed. "I've seen it enough myself."
• Gerald pulls out a camera and takes a picture.
• SCP-347 gawks.

<SCP-347> "It's beautiful…and so colorful!"

• Agent_Strelnikov pulls off of the sidewalk and re-enters traffic. He cuts off a taxi and beeps at them is if it were the taxi's fault.

<Samantha-Raelin> "My dad used to take me here when we visited."
<SCP-347> "Like a castle made of candy cake or something!"
<Gerald> "Heh."

• Samantha-Raelin grins. "You're really getting into this, aren't you?"
• Agent_Strelnikov drives past the Kremlin and points.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Kremlin. Big wall, not much to see."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Look hard, maybes you see Putin in there, yes?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "If he's not eating puppies or something."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Or flexing his pecs."
<SCP-347> "Who's Putin?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Ha. He is powerful man now."

• SCP-347 is REALLY out of the loop.
• Gerald chuckles.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Prime Minister of Russia."
<SCP-347> "Oh."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Also known as "President for Life" "
<SCP-347> "Sounds like a sweet job."

• Agent_Strelnikov drives past the former KGB headquarters. "My uncle spend time in there, big prison."

<Agent_Strelnikov> [ http://img5.travelblog.org/Photos/17776/208085/f/1576826-Lubyanka-former-KGB-headquarters-1.jpg ]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I think they knock some of his teeth out."
<Gerald> "Impressive looking place."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Very, imagine how many Class D's have been culled from here."
<Gerald> "….."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Political prisoners need somewhere to go when they 'disappear'."

• Gerald hasn't realized that before.

<Gerald> "Huh."

• Agent_Strelnikov drives through the city. A mass of modern skyscrapers has erupted in the center, as well as numerous shopping malls and other symbols of a growing consumer economy.

<Samantha-Raelin> "We'll have to take a trip to the city one of these days, go shopping."
<Gerald> "Ooh."

• Agent_Strelnikov weaves through traffic and finally arrives at a run down mass of concrete dug through the middle of the city.
• Agent_Strelnikov pulls into a parking lot and stops the car.

<Samantha-Raelin> "What's this place?"
<SCP-347> :Mm?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…White Sea Canal. Is not used much anymore."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I just wanted to stop and see it. It is have significance to me."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Oh?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> The concrete is cracked in many places and weeds are growing through. The water is a dirty, oily brown with a film of scum across the top. It's pretty ugly.
<Gerald> "Hm?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I only be a minute."

• Agent_Strelnikov steps out of the car and walks across a plot of grass, finally stopping at the edge.

<SCP-347> "Take all the time you need."

• SCP-347 leans out the window as she looks around.
• Gerald watches Dmitri quietly.
• Agent_Strelnikov stands there for a few moments and looks around, not really sure what he's doing. After a minute or two he walks back to the car with a confused look on his face.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Memories?"

• SCP-347 frowns a little. "…Must be fierce sheep for such woolgathering."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes, Ms. Raelin. Much has change, though."

• Agent_Strelnikov sighs. "Where would you all likes to go now?"

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is hard for me to pick landmarks, I live here for so many years is somewhat natural to me."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I have show you the obvious."
<SCP-347> "The obvious always works…"

• Gerald nods.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Don't then."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Well, actually, Claudia gets a kick out of it."
<Samantha-Raelin> "So, should we find someplace to eat, or cook back at the cottage?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Oh. No. I have idea."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I take you to restaurant. I have heard much of this place but I never eat there."

• Gerald 's stomach growls.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Oh?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "….Is called The Lubyanka. After the prison."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Sounds…interesting."
<SCP-347> "The Lubwhat?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Lubyanka. Prison."
<SCP-347> "…Is it a resturant?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "This one is, yes."
<Gerald> "Sounds interesting."
<Agent_Strelnikov> After more weaving in and out of traffic and cutting off a few more taxis, they arrive in a small alleyway in the middle of town. The buildings are squat, brick constructions dating back to the Soviet period.
<Agent_Strelnikov> On a large placard is a sign reading "The Lubyanka" in cyrillic lettering, as well as in English underneath. Emblazoned on the wall is a giant hammer and sickle.

• Samantha-Raelin gets out of the car, looking over the place. "Hmm."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is supposed to be Soviet themed restaurant. We see how well they do this."

• Gerald looks at the place.
• Agent_Strelnikov holds the door open for the party.
• SCP-347 looks around as she goes in, nodding to Dmitri. "Thanks…"
• Samantha-Raelin enters, taking a look around the place.
• Gerald walks in.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The inside has a very old appearance to it. The walls are unfinished brick and the floor is covered in wooden floorboards.
<Samantha-Raelin> 'Quaint."
<Agent_Strelnikov> Some fans spin in an attempt to dissipate the smoke from countless cigarettes.
<Agent_Strelnikov> There is a counter with a line of people standing, waiting to be seated. The group enters at the rear.
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Ooh. Is just like old time."
<Agent_Strelnikov> One of the patrons standing in line looks around nervously, left and right, as if he's watching for someone.
<Agent_Strelnikov> Suddenly three uniformed men step out of a door and approach the man. Their uniforms are of the old Soviet style, with the red hammer and sickle hatpins and badges. They approach the man and converse in an authoritarian tone.
<Gerald> "….."
<Agent_Strelnikov> Two of them grab him by the arms as the third draws a pistol. They drag him into the back room and close the door amid sounds of a scuffle. As the door closes, everyone in the place bursts into applause and laughter. Dmitri seems absolutely delighted.

• SCP-347 inhales deep. "I like this place already.."
• Agent_Strelnikov immediately steps forward and claims the man's place in line. "…My god. They do it so well!"
• Gerald laughs. "Oh, I see now."
• Gerald claps lightly.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The line actually moves quickly and very shortly they're seated and handed menus.

• Samantha-Raelin gives a light clap.

<SCP-347> "Themed resurants are the best…" Claudia mutters, applauding along with the others.

• Samantha-Raelin looks over the menu. "Traditional russian dishes with theme names, hmm?"

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is look like it." A short waitress dotes on them and serves drinks in chilled glasses.

• Agent_Strelnikov decides to just order a bowl of traditional soup.
• SCP-347 grins as she looks over the menu, nudging Dmitri. "…Anything you'd suggest?"
• Gerald has no clue what to get.

<SCP-347> "I don't know what these are…"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Hm."

• Agent_Strelnikov shrugs. He holds up his menu and points to various chicken themed meals. Everyone likes chicken, he figures.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Steak, too. That is not right, we never have steak in those times."

• Agent_Strelnikov points out the appropriate meals.
• Samantha-Raelin orders herself a bowl of borscht to start.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Cold. As if it should be served any other way."
<SCP-347> "I prefer chicken over steak any day…."

• Gerald gets orders some soup and chicken.
• SCP-347 orders something after a bit, similar to Gerald, and eagerly awaits
• SCP-347 is careful to re-apply lipstick after every few sips of her drink

<Agent_Strelnikov> The waitress has a typically round, Slavic face. She smiles at Dmitri and he smiles back broadly. She doesn't seem to be bothered by the steel teeth.

• Samantha-Raelin ends up ordering Pelmeni, stuffed with lamb, chicken, and beef.

<Agent_Strelnikov> A gunshot rings out from the back room. The three uniformed men walk out smoking cigarettes amid further applause from the restaurant's patrons.
<Samantha-Raelin> "So, anything like the old days, comrade?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> Those paying attention can see a door open on the street, and the nervous man walks out with a wad of roubles.

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles at Sam. "It is takes me back, yes."
• Samantha-Raelin grabs a cigarette, and lights it up, glad to be somewhere without the anti-smoking regulations.
• SCP-347 blinks at Sam. "…Can I bum one off you?"
• Samantha-Raelin looks to 347. "You smoke?"

<SCP-347> "I haven't smoked in forever, but hey…there's probably enough secondhand in here it doesn't matter."
<SCP-347> "Yeah."

• Samantha-Raelin laughs, and hands her a smoke and a lighter.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Almost everyone is smoking. You can count the people not smoking on one hand.

• Agent_Strelnikov lights his own cigarette and offers one to Gerald.
• Gerald feels slightly out of place being the only person not smoking.

<Gerald> "Er, no thanks."

• SCP-347 lights up easily, taking a second to readjust with a small cough, before sighing happily as she hands the lighter back.

<Samantha-Raelin> [By the way, Pelmeni http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/49/Pelmeni.jpg ]
<Samantha-Raelin> [they are made of delicious and mmmmmmm]
<SCP-347> [[omfg foodgasm]]
<Gerald> [Hey, chicken is universal.]
<Gerald> [You can't go wrong with chicken.]
<Agent_Strelnikov> The three uniformed men sit down at the table behind you. Dmitri turns around and salutes them. They salute back in unison.

• Agent_Strelnikov is tickled pink by this.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Shortly, the food is served. Despite the appearance of long lines, service here is actually pretty punctual.

• Samantha-Raelin enjoys her borscht first. It's quite good.
• Agent_Strelnikov tastes a spoonful of his soup. The flavor of it brings him back to his childhood.
• SCP-347 eats with careful tasting, enjoying every bite. "Mmhnnn"
• Gerald quite likes this restaurant. He eats his food, and it is good.

<Agent_Strelnikov> A man who looks very much like a party boss steps out of the kitchen. He walks over to a tall record player in the corner and kicks it, causing it to resume playing. The restaurant is filled with Soviet-era martial music.

• Samantha-Raelin eats the rest of her meal. "I didn't think a theme restaurant would be this good."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "I have read much of this place, is very famous now."
<Gerald> "I know, this is just delicious."
<SCP-347> "This is great!"

• Agent_Strelnikov attacks the borscht with gusto.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "So, where else are you want to be seeing?" He manages to ask between spoonfuls.
<Samantha-Raelin> "This trip's all about you, ruskie."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "That would not be fair."
<Samantha-Raelin> "So, why don't you ask yourself that and see where it leads?"
<Gerald> "Anywhere's fine."

• Agent_Strelnikov 's face appears distant for a moment, but then returns as before. "…Allright then."
• Gerald grins as he noms the chicken. "So, where to, then?"
• Agent_Strelnikov smiles at Gerald. He lifts his arm slowly, and extends a finger. It's pointing out the window.

<SCP-347> "…Well, it's a direction."
<Agent_Strelnikov> Across the street is a Russian Discotecque.
<Gerald> "Hm?"
<Gerald> "….."

• Agent_Strelnikov 's smile slowly grows.
• Samantha-Raelin looks over to it. "Ohhhhh."
• Samantha-Raelin grins. "So that's your game."
• Agent_Strelnikov giggles and sips at a glass of water.

<SCP-347> "…oh!"
<Gerald> "You sir, are the lord of the dance."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I am, how you say…"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Dance Commander."

• Samantha-Raelin laughs. "Cmon, why don't we head over."
• SCP-347 snorts with laughter.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "I pays for dinner. You leave gratuity."

• Samantha-Raelin puts the tip down. She did pay for the trip.
• Agent_Strelnikov stands and walks to the counter, paying with Euros.
• Gerald notes to himself that he needs to ask for a pay raise.
• Samantha-Raelin grabs Gerald by the hand. "Alright, time for some fun!"

<Agent_Strelnikov> Back at Site 17, the accounting department is busy filing Gerald's insurance payments. They take up 90% of his paycheck.
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Well then. We go when you are readies, yes?" He says, walking back to the table.

• Gerald looks a bit surprised, but doesn't resist.
• SCP-347 stands, re-applying her lipstick.

<Gerald> "I should warn you, me dancing has been known to cause blindness."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is ok. I shows you proper way."
<Gerald> "…."

• Samantha-Raelin nudges Gerald. "Plus, you'll be dancing with me."

<Samantha-Raelin> "I think I could show you a few things."

• Agent_Strelnikov exits the restaurant and skips across the street to the discoteque. It has been a long time!

<SCP-347> "Nothing like a good dance."
<Gerald> "….Okay."
<Gerald> "Sounds fine by me."
<Agent_Strelnikov> The discoteque is just beginning to fill up with people. At the moment they're playing traditional Russian dance music, but a DJ is setting up his equipment.
<Agent_Strelnikov> The dance floor is a typical dance floor from the 1970's period, complete with a disco ball.
<Gerald> "…."
<SCP-347> "…This is awesome."
<Agent_Strelnikov> The DJ says a few opening remarks, then starts playing music. The first song he plays is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5olxr2p-vWo

• Samantha-Raelin grabs Gerald by the hand, and leads him over to the dance floor.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Oh my gods I love this song."

• Gerald follows her, but is still nervous.
• Agent_Strelnikov grabs Claudia's hand and drags her onto the floor.
• Samantha-Raelin picks up on the beat quite adeptly, and moves into a rather excellent dance.
• SCP-347 giggles as she's led off with Dmitri, picking up on the music quickly.
• Agent_Strelnikov is actually an adept club dancer. He twirls Claudia around and grabs her, drawing her close.
• Gerald dances, actually pulling it off halfway decently.
• Agent_Strelnikov immediately begins leading her along.
• Gerald still looks completely ridiculous.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Thanks to Dmitri's Dance Commander perk, everyone in the place is now dancing as well.

• Samantha-Raelin leads Gerald as well, making him look less awkward, and more…adorable, trying to keep up with the more experienced Raelin.
• Gerald is dancing to Russian disco while wearing a lab coat. What the fuck.
• SCP-347 is a surprisingly good dancer. She's spent a lot of time learning to entertain herself, plus, she's enjoying the company.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Some drunk Russians clap at Gerald. They think his lab coat makes an amazing costume.
<Agent_Strelnikov> The song ends and the DJ immediately begins playing this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4uM4oeyss0

• Agent_Strelnikov lets go of Claudia and begins kicking his legs up and down in the traditional Russian Kalinka dance.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Everyone in the club cannot resist doing this.

• SCP-347 laughs as she watches, clapping before joining in.
• Samantha-Raelin starts dancing pretty intensely, with Gerald, not joining in.
• Agent_Strelnikov begins singing the old Soviet Anthem at the top of his lungs. Most of the patrons join him.
• Gerald is swept up by Sam's crazy mad dance moves.
• SCP-347 would try to sing along, but she doesn't know ANY of this
• Agent_Strelnikov gets a little overzealous. As the song ends he tries to land doing a split.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…..AAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
<SCP-347> "oh god."

• Gerald winces when he sees Dmitri tries it.

<Samantha-Raelin> [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNfohF5_qsg&feature=fvw ]

• Agent_Strelnikov falls over on his side, legs split forward and back.
• Samantha-Raelin winces. Then laughs.
• SCP-347 winces and looks away, before hurrying over to his side to help him back up. "Ahahaa…easy there, easy…"

<SCP-347> "Don't bend your legs."
<Gerald> "Hahaha!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Ohhh……."
<SCP-347> "You'll pull something."

• Agent_Strelnikov staggers around a bit.
• SCP-347 laughs. "Come on, take a break while your groin heals…need a drink?"

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Yes, pleases."

• Samantha-Raelin is pretty swept up with the music, improvising some kind of….electronica inspired tango with Gerald.
• Samantha-Raelin It's pretty fucking wild but really damn impressive.
• SCP-347 leads Dmitri over towards the bar and finds a seat for him, still laughing lightly.
• Gerald does his best to match Sam, but isn't quite as skilled when it comes to the dancing.
• Agent_Strelnikov sits down at the bar. The bartender automatically slides him a glass of vodka.
• Samantha-Raelin attempts to use her dancing to influence everyone in the discotheque.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The Muscovites are impressed with her flavorful dancing. Yes, flavorful.
<Agent_Strelnikov> They return to the dance floor and form a circle around Samantha and Gerald.
<Samantha-Raelin> [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQA1d0QQvf8 ]
<Agent_Strelnikov> The DJ puts on some pendulum. SHIT GOES FUCKING CRAZY.

• Samantha-Raelin dances in beat with the music, incredibly. Those finishing school days were not wasted, it seems.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The Muscovites are in awe.
<Samantha-Raelin> 15d6 Feminine Dancing Wiles, 7 pumps!
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, Feminine Dancing Wiles, 7 pumps!: 53 [15d6=2,1,6,4,5,4,5,4,2,5,3,1,6,1,4]

• Agent_Strelnikov watches Samantha from the bar as he sips his vodka.

<Gerald> 7d6 All I can pump into dancing.
<Magic_8-Ball> Gerald, All I can pump into dancing.: 25 [7d6=4,1,4,6,2,5,3]

• SCP-347 watches as well, after getting her own vodka.

<SCP-347> "…She's good."

• Agent_Strelnikov nods, "Very good. Very good. I think I join back in next song."
• Samantha-Raelin pulls off some incredible moves.
• Gerald pales in comparison, but still does pretty damn good.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Samantha's moves are so intense that the DJ lights off his finishing pyrotechnics early.

• Samantha-Raelin pulls Gerald into a kiss as the music fades once more. She looks a bit exhausted, now.

<Agent_Strelnikov> She is bracketed by fountains of White, Blue and Red flame.
<Agent_Strelnikov> The awestruck Muscovites applaud her with vigor! She is a new dance heroine.
<Samantha-Raelin> [Epic dancing]

• SCP-347 applauds and cheers
• Gerald returns the kiss, actually supporting himself on her, he's so tired.

<Samantha-Raelin> [Now you, Dance Commander, must show them how things are done.]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [I must find a song.]

• Samantha-Raelin pulls Gerald off to the bar, taking a seat.
• Gerald sits down.

<Gerald> "….holy fucking hell, Sam."
<Agent_Strelnikov> The DJ decides that, after that little performance, the crowd needs some time to cool down.

• Samantha-Raelin grins, sweating a bit. "Didn't know I had it in me."

<Agent_Strelnikov> He puts on a hip Norwegian number to give the people a breather. It is Dmitri's kind of song. [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UR9xf220tqo ]

• Agent_Strelnikov stands and elegantly offers his hand to Claudia.
• SCP-347 takes his hand, raising an eyebrow.
• Agent_Strelnikov walks her out to the dance floor, the patrons parting like the Red Sea.
• Gerald orders a drink, panting a bit.
• SCP-347 grins. "Yessss"
• Agent_Strelnikov twirls her around and pulls her in close again, slowly and sensually tango'ing with her.
• Agent_Strelnikov is not quite as vigorous as Samantha, but is no less inspired. Take that out of context as you will.

<Samantha-Raelin> [Strelnikov recieves +8 to Dance check!]
<Gerald> [Homeland bonus!]
<Agent_Strelnikov> One of the bartenders walks out with a rose. She offers it to Dmitri, which he plucks with his teeth.
<Samantha-Raelin> [Electronic Tango Bonus!]

• SCP-347 loves the tango. She moves wtih Dmitri easily and sensuously

<Samantha-Raelin> [Roll that shit son.]
<Agent_Strelnikov> 7d6+8 TANGO
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, TANGO: 29 [7d6=1,5,2,1,5,4,3]
<Samantha-Raelin> [no]
<Samantha-Raelin> [i mean]
<Samantha-Raelin> [+8 dice]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [oh shit son]
<Agent_Strelnikov> 15d6 REALLY TANGO THIS TIME
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, REALLY TANGO THIS TIME: 48 [15d6=6,1,5,4,1,1,5,5,1,5,1,3,2,6,2]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [wow what a horrible roll]

• Agent_Strelnikov slowly drags his fingers along Claudia's figure as the dance goes on.
• Agent_Strelnikov slowly dips her and drops the flower onto her bosom as the song ends.
• SCP-347 grins. You can't see, but if she could be seen..she'd be blushing like mad.
• Agent_Strelnikov is blushing a bit himself. If asked, he'd probably describe the dance as "Musical Beak Wetting."

<SCP-347> "…That was intense."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Yes. Yes it was. Thanks you." He pulls her up as the audience applauds.
<Samantha-Raelin> [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhL6udAcdnQ&feature=related ]

• SCP-347 grins, looking around at the audience..before going up on tip-toe, giving Dmitri a little peck on the cheek.

<SCP-347> "Thanks."
<Samantha-Raelin> [this is kondraki's dance theme.]

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles wide and flushes completely red. In a moment of irony, the same bartender walks out and sticks a yellow hammer and sickle sticker to his forehead.
• Agent_Strelnikov walks back to the bar, spent.
• Samantha-Raelin looks back to the others as they return. "You were…stunning out there."

<Gerald> "Nice."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Not quites as good as you, but thanks you. You are very impress."

• SCP-347 chuckles. "I thought that was amazing…"
• Agent_Strelnikov gives Claudia a peck on the cheek in return.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I think we've set the level quite high in here. We may have embarrassed some people."

• SCP-347 giggles lightly. His lips get a bit of a brownish dusting to them. Fortunately, her makeup still holds.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Oh?"
<Gerald> "Heheh."

• Samantha-Raelin As you rest on your laurels, however, a brightly dressed group of young russian adults comes to tap Sam and Dmitri on the shoulders.
• Agent_Strelnikov turns around, a fresh cigarette drooping from his mouth.
• Gerald drinks his drink, eying them.

<Samantha-Raelin> <"You thinks you are hotshots, huh? Come into our floor, with your tangos and mambos.">
<Samantha-Raelin> "…excuse me?"

• Agent_Strelnikov clears his throat but then realizes he isn't sure how to respond.

<Gerald> "….What'd they say?"

• SCP-347 steals Dmitri's cigarette, takes a long drag on it, then pokes it back into his lips.
• Agent_Strelnikov is delighted by the taste of her lipstick, but he'd never dare to admit that.
• SCP-347 can't understand a word that they said, but she tries to look cool.
• Samantha-Raelin turns to them. *"We're just trying to enjoy our night out, but you're free to take your freakshow out on the dancefloor."*

<Samantha-Raelin> <They look a little repulsed. *"Oh? Well then we challenge you to a danceoff! You two, right now, else we shame you."*
<Gerald> […..]

• Agent_Strelnikov blinks.

<Agent_Strelnikov> *"…You're serious?"*

• Samantha-Raelin blows smoke from a lit cigarette towards them. *"With those outfits, I think they might be."*
• SCP-347 leans over to Gerald. "I don't know what they're saying, but this can only end well."
• Agent_Strelnikov chuckles a bit.
• Gerald laughs lightly.
• Agent_Strelnikov twirls his cigarette in his fingers and gives it to Claudia.

<Samantha-Raelin> < *"We do this now."*>
<Agent_Strelnikov> *"VERY WELL."*

• SCP-347 takes it and enjoys it, sitting back.
• Samantha-Raelin gets up, putting out her cigarette on the bar, and cracks her knuckles.
• Agent_Strelnikov stands up and stretches.

<Samantha-Raelin> [STRELNIKOV]
<Samantha-Raelin> [RAELIN]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [GETTIN PAID]
<Samantha-Raelin> [TEAM PERK ENABLED]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Fuck what was their team perk]
<Samantha-Raelin> [DANCE HEADS OF STATE]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Ahahahah]
<Samantha-Raelin> [+10 to combined dance roll.]
<Samantha-Raelin> [no wait]
<Samantha-Raelin> [DANCE COMMISSAR]
<Gerald> "So, er, what's going on now?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Serious business, Gerald." He adjusts his uniform and offers a hand to Samantha.
<Gerald> "…."

• Samantha-Raelin takes his hand. She hands her scarf to Gerald.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Let's do this."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes ma'am."
<SCP-347> "Things are about to get funky up in here."
<Samantha-Raelin> [Which song…]

• Gerald takes the scarf, slightly confused.

<Agent_Strelnikov> [Kon.]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Run DMC.]
<Gerald> [POKERFACE]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Oh god.]
<Samantha-Raelin> [OH MY GOD]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoQb8vb4blA ]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [You MUST watch the video]
<Samantha-Raelin> [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ngf5Oo_XrjI&feature=channel ]
<Samantha-Raelin> [This one.]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Hahah]
<Samantha-Raelin> [We're doing pokerface.]
<Samantha-Raelin> [We have to.]

• Samantha-Raelin The DJ puts on some REAL SHIT SON.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Oh my gods I love this song."
<Samantha-Raelin> [Additional to the perk: Instead of just sixes, team members contribute 5's as well.]

• Gerald looks up at the DJ.

<Gerald> "Oh, hell."

• SCP-347 blinks. "Oh hell what/"

<Agent_Strelnikov> The DJ is grinning like a son of a bitch.

• Samantha-Raelin starts to get into their dance.

<Samantha-Raelin> 8d6 Dance….COMMISSAR!
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, Dance….COMMISSAR!: 28 [8d6=2,3,6,4,6,1,1,5]
<Agent_Strelnikov> 15d6 DANCE COMMANDER
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, DANCE COMMANDER: 62 [15d6=6,6,2,5,3,3,1,2,4,6,6,6,4,2,6]

• Gerald leans back, takes a drink, and looks over at Claudia, grinning. "Aren't you glad you came with us now?"

<SCP-347> "…I am."
<Samantha-Raelin> 8d6 Dance Opposition!
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, Dance Opposition!: 36 [8d6=3,6,6,3,3,3,6,6]

• Agent_Strelnikov takes Samantha by the waist and begins dancing with her. It's very good and very dirty. You feel obscene even watching this.
• Samantha-Raelin The dance troupe performs valiantly at first.
• Samantha-Raelin But jesus shit, they are outclassed here. You have never seen Poker Face danced to this well.
• Agent_Strelnikov drops his hat on Samantha's head.

<Gerald> "….Hey, I'm going out with her." He mumbles to himself.

• Agent_Strelnikov has to put his best poker face on for this one, if you know what I mean.
• Samantha-Raelin If God was here, he'd be like DAAAAAAAMN

<SCP-347> "Pff, if the russian told me to share anybody, I'd jump to do so…"

• SCP-347 chuckles lightly.

<Agent_Strelnikov> A brief summer shower begins outside. It's not rain.
<Agent_Strelnikov> It's Christ weeping at the beauty.

• Samantha-Raelin Still, the troupe still dances on, not defeated yet.

<Agent_Strelnikov> 45d6 POKER FACE SUPER STAR
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, POKER FACE SUPER STAR: 162 [45d6=1,2,3,5,3,3,6,6,5,6,2,5,6,1,5,2,1,4,2,4,5,2,3,1,2,1,3,5,1,2,4,2,4,4,6,4,6,6,6,2,4,5,5,6,1]

• Samantha-Raelin The Disco troupe….my god. They break down onto their knees, They weep.
• Samantha-Raelin The dance cannot be described by mortal languages.

<Gerald> "…."

• Agent_Strelnikov is nothing but a blur on the dance floor.
• SCP-347 is amazed and rather aroused.

<SCP-347> "…wow."

• Samantha-Raelin It is so sublime, so immaculate, and so sexy that if a nazi were here, his face would melt.
• Gerald thinks that his face just melted.

<Agent_Strelnikov> In Red Square, a disturbance arises at Lenin's mausoleum.
<Agent_Strelnikov> Lenin's body rolls over.
<Gerald> All the way in the states, Lady GaGa wakes up with a fright. "I sense….a disturbance."

• Samantha-Raelin The troupe is shunned out the door. If you were to read the news tomorrow, you'd have learned they fled the country.
• Samantha-Raelin And then killed themselves.

<Agent_Strelnikov> As it turns out, it's just drugs. Lady GaGa returns to her slumber.

• Agent_Strelnikov collapses on the dance floor, out of breath.
• SCP-347 is fairly certain her panties have melted. Her face, or at least makeup, is still good.
• Samantha-Raelin finishes the dance, collapsing too, but grinning. "Well.."
• Agent_Strelnikov lays on his back, panting. "….Jesus."
• Samantha-Raelin looks over to Gerald, and weakly gestures him to come over.
• SCP-347 applauds and cheers. "WOOOOO."
• Gerald gets up, walks over, and helps her up.
• Samantha-Raelin kisses him on the cheek. "Thanks love."
• Agent_Strelnikov pushes himself up and staggers to the bar. He is completely spent.

<Gerald> "You have no idea how much I want you right at this instant."

• Samantha-Raelin gets back to the bar with Gerald's assistance. "Please restrain yourself, at least until we get to the car."
• Agent_Strelnikov sits at the bar and tries to catch his breath. "….Ms. Raelin is exceptional."
• Gerald quietly takes a drink.
• Samantha-Raelin grins. "You're no slouch yourself…I don't even know how you did that one move."
• SCP-347 hands Dmitri another drink.
• SCP-347 is grinning like a madwoman.

<SCP-347> "That. Was. Fantastic."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Issac Newton would snap your neck in anger if he wasn't so dead."

• Agent_Strelnikov shrugs and sips his vodka, modest as ever. "…Old VDV trick."
• Samantha-Raelin The people around the bar, recovering from their spontaneous orgasms, begin to get back to dancing. An unamused janitor begins to clean up the mess.

<SCP-347> "Mmmhm…Are all old VDV tricks this amazing?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> The janitor mutters to himself, *"This is even worse than when John Travolta visited."*

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles at Claudia. "Is possible, eh?"
• SCP-347 laughs. "Anything's possible for us."
• Samantha-Raelin is still fairly exhausted. "Let's get back to the cottage, before Cirque de Soleil shows up."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Yes."

• Gerald nods. "Alright."
• Samantha-Raelin leads them outside.
• SCP-347 nods as well and follows.
• Agent_Strelnikov shuffles along. He puts his arm around Claudia.
• SCP-347 leans against Dmitri, still laughing lightly.
• Gerald walks out and gets in the back of the car.
• Agent_Strelnikov is in pretty good spirits himself. He opens the door for her.
• Samantha-Raelin As the exit the discotheque, a group of very drunk, very rowdy teens are passing by. Several seem to be visibly wielding knives. They see our intrepid group, and think "Tourists, easy money."

<Gerald> "…."

• Agent_Strelnikov looks at them in disgust.
• SCP-347 starts giggling.

<Agent_Strelnikov> <One of the teens, apparently the gang leader, approaches Gerald. "Hey, are you have the time?">
<Agent_Strelnikov> <The others stand behind him, flanking their leader on both sides.>
<Gerald> "I'm sorry, I don't speak douchbag."

• Samantha-Raelin notices the man. "Just ignore them."

<Gerald> *douchebag
<Agent_Strelnikov> <His eyes narrow and he pulls a long switchblade from a pocket. He flicks it open menacingly and points it at Gerald. "Yeah? Well maybes you speak give me your fucking cash or we all kill your wife.">
<Agent_Strelnikov> <The others flick their knives open as well.>
<Gerald> "…."

• SCP-347 sighs lightly. "Well, every country needs it's assholes…"
• Samantha-Raelin looks at the man with a bit of disbelief. Punks, threaten *them* ?
• Gerald starts to crack up. He keeps walking to the car.
• Samantha-Raelin laughs with him, and puts her arm around his shoulders.
• Agent_Strelnikov keeps moving Claudia along, eyeing them.

<Agent_Strelnikov> <"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING." One of them steps forward and tries to grab Gerald.>
<Gerald> 4d6 Agility
<Magic_8-Ball> Gerald, Agility: 15 [4d6=5,1,6,3]
<Agent_Strelnikov> 3d6 Drunken thug
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, Drunken thug: 10 [3d6=2,2,6]
<Agent_Strelnikov> <The thug misses Gerald and instead pushes Samantha.>

• Samantha-Raelin turns, reaching back to grab the man's arm, and twist it until he prays to jesus that she doesn't stick it up his arsehole.

<Samantha-Raelin> 8d6 Arms up Arseholes!
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, Arms up Arseholes!: 39 [8d6=5,5,4,6,4,6,5,4]
<Samantha-Raelin> [Woo, rollin']
<Agent_Strelnikov> <She grabs his arm and twists it, making a sickening noise as it moves unnaturally. Naturally, the little baby screams in pain. The others hesitate for a moment.>
<Samantha-Raelin> *"Ruskie, teach them a soviet history lesson."*
<Samantha-Raelin> *"Claudia will appreciate it."*

• SCP-347 approves of this!
• Agent_Strelnikov nods and lets go of Claudia, whipping his Makarov out. The discoteque patrons, some of whom followed them outside taking photographs, drop their cameras and draw pistols as well.
• Agent_Strelnikov lowers his pistol and swaggers up to the leader. *"You little baby. I ought to teach you some manners."* He swings his leg around and roundhouse kicks him, right in the dick.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The discoteque patrons laugh racously as he drops to his knees. He drops his knife which is immediately scavenged by passersby. The rest of his group has no stomach for this fight, and they run off like babies.

• SCP-347 applauds

<Samantha-Raelin> *"ENTIRE ENEMY TEAM IS BABIES!"*

• Gerald is still chuckling.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Some of the nerdier members of the party point and laugh.

• Agent_Strelnikov adjusts his tunic and walks back to the car. "…That is also old VDV trick."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Such is Russia."

• Samantha-Raelin puts her arm around Gerald, after wiping some of the blood off her coat from the bone snapping. "Let's get home before we have to repeat that performance."
• SCP-347 laughs, walking alongside him…before grinning up at him. "I'm sure you can show me lots of VDV tricks, before the vacation is over…"
• Agent_Strelnikov blushes immediately. "…Uh. Yes. Perhaps."
• Agent_Strelnikov hops into the driver's seat. "There is, eh. Is one more stop I would like to make. Is not far from our home, actually."

<Gerald> "Dmitri, you're blushing as much as I do."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "SHUT UP GERALD!"

• Agent_Strelnikov starts the car.

<Gerald> "Hahaha!"

• SCP-347 laughs as well, but still leans over from the passenger seat to give Dmitri a little peck on the cheek.
• Samantha-Raelin gets into the car with Gerald in the back seat.
• Agent_Strelnikov pulls out into traffic. He possibly runs over the thug's foot as he merges.
• Gerald waits until Dmitri starts to drive, then grabs Sam by the shoulders and kisses her.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Much traffic is navigated. The Muscovites drive like maniacs and Dmitri is no exception. You lose count of the amount of cars he cuts off, or beeps furiously at.

• Samantha-Raelin puts her arms around Gerald, his initiative very refreshing.
• Gerald hopes Dmitri doesn't use the rear-view mirror very often.
• Samantha-Raelin hopes he doesn't as well, although the privacy in the back of a sedan is questionable at best.

<Agent_Strelnikov> After the usual highway commute, he pulls off at their exit but continues past where they should have turned to reach the cottage.

• SCP-347 glances back at them. She says nothing.
• Agent_Strelnikov quiets down as he drives down the little two lane road, which is completely devoid of traffic. He turns onto a beaten dirt road which leads into dense forest.
• Samantha-Raelin wonders if they're on a bad road, or if that's just them.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The sun hangs low in the sky, turning it into a plethora of brilliant hues, thanks to the copious amount of smog in the air.
<Agent_Strelnikov> The road could be better but he takes his time and avoids most of the major ruts and holes. It doesn't seem as if anyone has traveled it in a while.

• SCP-347 is peering out the window, curious.
• Gerald hopes the sedan has good shocks.
• Agent_Strelnikov makes another turn onto a tiny gravel driveway that winds itself into even denser forest. Finally, the car stops and Dmitri peers through the windshield.

<Agent_Strelnikov> In front of them is a dacha, a Russian summer house that has seen better days. Its red paint is chipping and the eaves sag in disrepair.

• Gerald looks up from Sam. "Huh?"

<Agent_Strelnikov> It, too, doesn't appear to have seen any visitors in years.

• Agent_Strelnikov turns the car off and steps outside.
• SCP-347 blinks, curious. "..where are we?"
• Samantha-Raelin looks up as well, hair mussed a bit. "Is this the…"

<Agent_Strelnikov> After a moment's silence, he says quietly. "Her family buy this, after the curtain fell."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Every summer since then, we spent here. Away from the city."

• Gerald gets out of the car slowly, looking around.
• Samantha-Raelin gets out of the car as well, but stays silent.
• SCP-347 gets out of the car as well, standing next to Dmitri quietly.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Was the last place I saw her. I said goodbye to her, here."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "And now I finish the promise."
<Agent_Strelnikov> A scruffy looking bird flies over and lands in a nest built in the ceiling of the veranda. Dmitri sighs and walks forward along the gravel.
<Agent_Strelnikov> Some weathered wood planks cover the door, which is locked. He pulls them off without too much trouble, then pauses and thinks for a moment. He turns around and pries open a small panel on one of the porch's support beams, then pulls a tarnished brass key from it.

• SCP-347 follows after him. She feels very…at home, in abandoned places.
• Agent_Strelnikov unlocks the door and steps inside. The floorboards groan as he walks, little jets of dust popping up from the seams. Torn and moldy wallpaper covers the walls but the house is otherwise mostly devoid of furnishings.
• Gerald stays quietly, but keeps a couple feet behind Claudia.
• Samantha-Raelin stays with Gerald. The whole…history of this place is sort of chilling, even with the vague details it haunts her.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Was my home."

• Agent_Strelnikov points to the kitchen, faded strawberry wallpapers adorning the upper trim of the room. "I say goodbye in there."

<SCP-347> "…It looks like it would've been a nice place." Claudia says softly as she looks around.

• Samantha-Raelin would say something about the impermanence of things, and a note about mortality, but it seemed implied.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Dmitri says nothing and runs his hand along the railing of a nearby staircase. It was painted green at one time but now holds the same faded, melancholy appearance of the rest of the house.
<Agent_Strelnikov> "….I am sorry. I have to go upstairs. I hopes you do not mind this diversion."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Not at all."

• SCP-347 shakes her head. "S'allright."
• Gerald nods.
• Agent_Strelnikov disappears up the stairs, but the creaking of the floor is easily heard from below as he walks around. Upstairs is no different, save for one room. He pushes the door with a finger and it swings open.

<Agent_Strelnikov> The walls are covered in photographs of himself and Eva, all of them faded and some of them laying on the floor with broken frames, apparently having fallen from their hooks at some point. Against one wall is a small armoire, with a sealed tin box on it.

• Agent_Strelnikov sighs and picks it up. There's a small, childish lock on the front, but he ends up just prying it open with a knife.
• SCP-347 paces back and forth at the bottom of the stares. Her instincts tell her to go pry around. But she thinks that stripping and scrubbing her face clean right here might be a bad idea.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Inside is a note, preserved remarkably well considering the condition of the rest of the house. It's covered in Eva's delicate and looping cyrillic handwriting.

• Gerald quietly stands around with Sam.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I'm glad we made this trip. For his sake."
<SCP-347> "Me too…"

• Gerald nods.
• Agent_Strelnikov picks it up and reads it. *"Love: I waited as long as I could, but I find myself unable to go on without you here. I never forgot your promise though, you will always be alive in my memories. Love, Eva Ivanova."* Underneath it is her engagement ring.
• Agent_Strelnikov places them both back in the tin box and picks it up. He walks downstairs in silence, wiping his eyes as he comes into view.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "S-Sorry. We can go now."

• Gerald nods quietly.
• Samantha-Raelin gets back into the car. "Made your peace?"
• SCP-347 blinks at him…before whipping a handkerchief out of her pocket and holding it out to him. "Here."
• Agent_Strelnikov wipes his eyes with the handkerchief. "…Somewhat."
• Gerald gets in the car again.
• Agent_Strelnikov takes a long, last look at the house before getting back into the car. They drive back to their cottage (which isn't too far away, actually) in silence.
• SCP-347 muses quietly during the drive back. "…There were drinks at the cottage, right?"

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yes. I will need one."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Oh, plenty."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Sorry. I did not mean to ruin the day."
<Samantha-Raelin> "It's fine, like I said, this trip was for you."
<SCP-347> "Nah…everybody need catharsis sometimes."

• Agent_Strelnikov nods. "I have wait almost ten years to go there."

<Gerald> "It's alright, Dmitri."
<Samantha-Raelin> "I mean, me and Gerald getting some time off site, and Claudia getting a little human experience is important too, but this is your home."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles a bit. "I hope he is as good to her as I was."

<SCP-347> "…I bet he had to be, in order to stand up to a fine fellow like you."

• Agent_Strelnikov shrugs as he pulls into the driveway of their cottage. He doesn't really have a response to that.
• SCP-347 is starting to pull off her wig before she's even in the door.
• Gerald quietly walks to the cottage, and immediately grabs some drinks out of the pantry.
• Samantha-Raelin gets in, and gets right to pulling out two bottles of vodka and shot glasses for everyone.
• SCP-347 disappears up to her room. "I'll be back down in a moment…" She says.
• Samantha-Raelin brings said items to the table, and pours four shots. For each of them.
• Agent_Strelnikov dusts the bottom of the tin box off, then sets it on the counter as a plot device.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Thanks you, Samantha."

• Agent_Strelnikov holds his shot up but waits for Claudia.
• Gerald drinks a shot.

<Gerald> "So…."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Quick, refill before Claudia is come!"

• Samantha-Raelin pours Gerald's shot to full.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Wait until she gets back!"
<Gerald> "Er, oops."
<Gerald> "Sorry."

• Agent_Strelnikov scolds Gerald with his eyes.
• SCP-347 skips back down in more comfortable clothes, her face cleaned off, although she's applied her usual red lipstick and dark eye shadow, so that nobody wonders where she is, fingering her gloves awkwardly. She looks more natural with vast patches of open skin nonexistent.
• SCP-347 grabs a seat. "Shots!"
• Agent_Strelnikov smiles and holds his glass up again.
• Agent_Strelnikov clears his throat and decides to use his good English for this toast.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Thank you all. I do not know what it means to you, but…having you here has meant everything to me."

• Samantha-Raelin raises her glass. She's impressed by his English.
• Gerald holds up his glass. "To friendship."
• Agent_Strelnikov uses it when he needs to, but it bears a heavy price.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…To friends' ship."

• SCP-347 laughs lightly as she holds up her glass. "To friendships."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…TO THE DEATH OF CHECHEN SCUM. I DRINKS THEIR BLOOD IN FURY." Out of nowhere.

• Samantha-Raelin laughs. "Death to Chechen Scum it is!"
• Agent_Strelnikov downs his shot.
• Samantha-Raelin drinks a shot.
• Gerald laughs, and drinks.
• Agent_Strelnikov pours some more.
• SCP-347 downs her shot and laugh.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I don't know why we didn't do something like this sooner."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Lord is know that I needed it."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Gerald I do not even thinks there is thing here to sets you on fire."

• Gerald raises his glass again. "I'll drink to that."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "So long as it is not flaming shot, eh?" He chuckles and hoists his glass.

• Gerald laughs, and drinks.
• Samantha-Raelin drinks once more. "Gerald won't be catching on fire while I'm around."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Bed, maybe. But not Gerald."

• SCP-347 drinks again.

<SCP-347> [Or his pants]

• Gerald blushes.

<Agent_Strelnikov> [Gerald ejaculates fire.]

• SCP-347 laughs loudly.

<SCP-347> [That explains a lot]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [Oh my god I'm a monster]
<Gerald> [D:]
<Samantha-Raelin> [XD]

• Agent_Strelnikov sits down at the table.

<SCP-347> "Go figure, I got the room right next to you two!"

• Agent_Strelnikov clears his throat awkwardly.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Uh."

• Gerald slowly takes another drink, still red.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Well."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "You can stay…in my room, if you want."

• SCP-347 grins. Her teeth are still painted white.

<SCP-347> "I just might, big guy…maybe try to learn a few old VDV tricks."

• Agent_Strelnikov coughs. He'll probably just trade rooms with her.
• Gerald is already swaying a bit. God, he cannot hold his alcohol.
• Agent_Strelnikov remembers why he came here in the first place.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "….I trade you my room, Claudia."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I have, eh. Commitment."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Even if it is not really committed yet."

• SCP-347 nods, before quirking an eyebrow. She was nice enough to paint those on, too.

<SCP-347> "Ooh…?"

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles as he pours four more shots.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "I would not be able to live with myself if I betray her now."

• Samantha-Raelin continues to drink. Is starting to get a bit tipsy.

<SCP-347> "…I swear, the longer I know you, the more ridiculously sweet you get." Claudia takes down her shot

• Gerald is already tipsy, yet continues to drink.

<Samantha-Raelin> [At this rate, we'll all be sharing a room]

• Agent_Strelnikov blushes. That doesn't make it any easier.

<Agent_Strelnikov> [At this rate, we all just sleep at the table]
<Samantha-Raelin> [These shots didn't know what hit them]
<SCP-347> [unf unf unf]
<SCP-347> [Everybody wakes up in a big pile together, and decides never to speak again]
<Gerald> "Didn't you call me 'diabetic sweet' not too long ago, Claudia?"
<SCP-347> "You are, Gerald…like candy."
<SCP-347> "Or cake or something."

• Gerald smiles. "Thank you."

<SCP-347> "Dmitri's sweet like…like shepard's pie."

• Agent_Strelnikov sighs happily. "Thanks you."

<SCP-347> "Meaty and to be taken with a grain of salt."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Hah! Gerald's the sweetest!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I…eh?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "I do not get it."
<SCP-347> "You're both equally good, but in different ways!"

• Samantha-Raelin has downed enough shots to start getting into the drunk phase.
• Gerald entered that phase a few drinks ago.
• SCP-347 seems to be pacing herself. But it's unsure if others will notice
• Agent_Strelnikov doesn't pace himself, but due to his high ALCOHOL TOLERANCE it takes him a while to really feel the vodka.
• Gerald glances at Sam and smiles.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Where did you learns to dance, Samantha?"

• Samantha-Raelin scoots her chair over to Gerald. "Well, my mother, saint as she was…she was always trying to get me prepared for my adult life with these finishing schools."

<Samantha-Raelin> "Trying to make sure that, despite all my efforts to actually be something, I'd be acceptable in at least her old fashioned way of thinking."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Dancing…ah….dancing was my favorite bit of it."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles. "You were exceptional. It was my honor."

<Gerald> "What about you, Dmitri? When did you learn to dance?"

• Agent_Strelnikov coughs. "….Old VDV trick." He hopes that will fly.
• Gerald raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Like I said, you were pretty incredible out there too. Couldn't have done it without you."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "We make very good team, yes." He hums Poker Face idly.

• SCP-347 giggles.

<Gerald> "Sam, that was the sexiest bit of dancing I had ever seen. Er, yours, not Dmitri's."

• Samantha-Raelin giggles. "I don't know, I think he was pretty damn sexy out there too."

<SCP-347> "I support that statement!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Awww. I was hoping I make you excited, Gerald." He laughs.

• Samantha-Raelin drinks another shot.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Speaking of excited, how about that little fight earlier?"

• Agent_Strelnikov blushes again.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Was very excite, yes."

• Samantha-Raelin refers to the events of earlier.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Oh. Wait."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "THAT fight."

• Agent_Strelnikov looks away.
• Samantha-Raelin specifically implies the catfight.
• Agent_Strelnikov tries to hide his face.
• SCP-347 laughs.

<Gerald> "…."
<SCP-347> "Hahaha!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> He does a poor job of it. It's completely red.
<SCP-347> "That was…ahahaha…"

• SCP-347 imitates Dmitri's accent.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Oh my god, Gerald, he looks like you!"
<SCP-347> "MAKE KISS."

• Samantha-Raelin can't stop laughing.
• Gerald is obviously drunk at this point, especially with what he's about to say. "Okay, I was turned on a little when Claudia kissed you."

<Gerald> "And hey, I have the classic blush. He's just a copycat."

• Agent_Strelnikov shrinks a bit.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Was attractive, yes."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Please to not tell Break."
<SCP-347> "You were, Gerald? Even I was a little turned on."
<Gerald> "…." Yep, Gerald blushes.
<Samantha-Raelin> "I'll admit, so was I."

• Gerald turns even redder.

<Samantha-Raelin> "I bet if we do it again, we could match their facial tones."
<SCP-347> "Is it really THAT novel to kiss an invisible woman?"

• SCP-347 laughs. "Hey, if you'd be all for it…"

<SCP-347> "Granted, our breath's probbaly both like distillerys now…"
<Samantha-Raelin> "Talk to me in a couple more shots.."
<SCP-347> "I'll keep it in mind, sweetcheeks."

• Agent_Strelnikov immediately pours more shots.

<Gerald> "Plus, there was the way that Claudia….you know."

• Gerald glances at Sam's shirt.
• Samantha-Raelin drinks another shot. "Good thing I was wearing a bra."

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Yeah….good thing….."

• Agent_Strelnikov burps.
• Gerald drinks another shot, quiet.

<Gerald> "It's been a wild day, hasn't it?"

• SCP-347 burps. LOUDER than Strelnikov.
• Samantha-Raelin grins. "I don't know, nothing's blown up yet."
• SCP-347 issues this as a CHALLENGE

<SCP-347> "Cept for you guys on the dance floor.”

• Gerald looks at Sam, shocked.

<Gerald> "That's not something you joke about around me!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…"

• Agent_Strelnikov grabs the bottle and chugs from it.
• Agent_Strelnikov holds his lighter up and burps into it, making sure he's well away from Gerald.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Hey, I told you, I'm gonna make sure nothing bad happens to you."
<Agent_Strelnikov> There's an unhealthy looking fireball. He pats his chest and smiles at Claudia. "…VDV trick."
<Samantha-Raelin> "I couldn't, I like you too much."

• Gerald smiles, and hugs Sam.

<SCP-347> "…holy SHIT."

• SCP-347 stares. In AWE.
• Samantha-Raelin hugs him back. "I think he beat you, Claudia."

<SCP-347> "…I would like to point out that it is ONLY self control and a fear that Break would kill me that's stopping me from jumping your bones right now, ruskie."
<SCP-347> "That, and the smell of burnt alcohol."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "….Hm."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is, eh. Is difficult for me to not take you up on this."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Sorries."
<SCP-347> "S'all good. I'm glad I bought somethin' from home, though…that reminds me."

• SCP-347 smiles. It looks WICKED in the air without a face.

<SCP-347> "…Rights packed me cookies before I left…bedtime snack, anyone?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "…which set of cookies?"
<Gerald> "….cookies."

• Agent_Strelnikov doesn't make the connection.

<Gerald> "…."
<SCP-347> "Just some chocolate-chip cookies."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Claudia, if those are…"
<SCP-347> "I LOVE it when she bakes, don't you?"
<Gerald> "…."

• Samantha-Raelin doesn't say anything else.
• SCP-347 is already heading up the stairs. She comes back down in a flurry of footsteps a moment later, tossing a little paper bag onto the table. Cookie spill forth.
• Gerald slowly grabs a cookie and holds it up.
• Agent_Strelnikov takes one.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Why don't you try one first, Claudia?"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Ahhh, I loves Doktor Rights. Her cookies is so good."

• Samantha-Raelin takes one. Cautiously.
• Gerald bites into it.
• SCP-347 takes a cookie and smiles. "As you wish." Before biting down alongside Gerald.
• Agent_Strelnikov bites too.

<SCP-347> 1d6 COOKIES AND NOOKIES
<Magic_8-Ball> SCP-347, COOKIES AND NOOKIES: 6 [1d6=6]
<Gerald> 1d6
<Magic_8-Ball> Gerald, 1d6: 4 [1d6=4]
<Agent_Strelnikov> 1d6 HNNGHHH
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, HNNGHHH: 2 [1d6=2]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Mmmmm."

• Samantha-Raelin bites. What the hell.
• Agent_Strelnikov thinks this is a delicious cookie.

<Samantha-Raelin> 1d6 Oh shit.
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, Oh shit.: 1 [1d6=1]

• SCP-347 collapses under the table. It's probably for the better that you can't see the blush on her face.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Claudia?"

• Gerald 's eyes widen, and he pulls his legs up and curls up on the chair.

<SCP-347> "…M'good!"

• SCP-347 holds up a gloved hand in a thumbs-up.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "What happen?"
<SCP-347> "M' verrrry very good."
<SCP-347> "…I..drank too much?"
<Gerald> "…."
<SCP-347> "…Have another cookie."

• Samantha-Raelin sighs. She eats her cookie. "It was, wasn't it."
• Samantha-Raelin grabs another.

<Samantha-Raelin> 1d6 mana from heaven
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, mana from heaven: 2 [1d6=2]

• Gerald is curled up on the chair. He grabs a second cookie.

<Gerald> 1d6

• SCP-347 sounds breathless, crawling back into her chair and grabbing another cookie.

<Magic_8-Ball> Gerald, 1d6: 2 [1d6=2]

• Samantha-Raelin had some kind of resistance to the cookies.

<Gerald> "Ah. Regular one."

• SCP-347 looks at Dmitri. "…Come on, she made these for us…"
• Agent_Strelnikov grabs another cookie. "Mmmm."
• Agent_Strelnikov suspects nothing and bites down.

<Agent_Strelnikov> 1d6 Derp
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, Derp: 1 [1d6=1]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "MMMM."

• Agent_Strelnikov licks his lips.
• Samantha-Raelin grabs another cookie herself, eating it. Everything aside, they were delicious.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "Is so good. She is best cook."
<Gerald> "Dr. Rights is one sly researcher, if you ask me.
<SCP-347> 1d6 So not fair
<Magic_8-Ball> SCP-347, So not fair: 2 [1d6=2]
<Samantha-Raelin> 1d6 Did it all for the nookie.
<Magic_8-Ball> Samantha-Raelin, Did it all for the nookie.: 6 [1d6=6]
<Gerald> 1d6 I'd like another, thanks.
<Magic_8-Ball> Gerald, I'd like another, thanks.: 5 [1d6=5]
<SCP-347> "She's awfully smart…"

• Samantha-Raelin promply falls over onto Gerald.
• Agent_Strelnikov tries another cookie.

<Samantha-Raelin> "S-smart, right. Brilliant."

• Gerald grabs onto Sam's shoulders as he gasps, curling up again.

<Agent_Strelnikov> 1d6 FFF
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, FFF: 2 [1d6=2]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "MMMM!"

• Agent_Strelnikov is as happy as can be.

<Gerald> [AHAHAHAH]
<SCP-347> [[OH GOD DAMN IT]]
<Agent_Strelnikov> [ahahahahha]

• Agent_Strelnikov licks his lips. "So good."
• SCP-347 eats her 'safe' cookie slowly. This is so not fair.
• SCP-347 wonders if this is the defenition of irony.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Hm. One more. Is vacation." He grabs another.

• Agent_Strelnikov takes a bite.

<Agent_Strelnikov> 1d6
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, 1d6: 4 [1d6=4]

• Agent_Strelnikov 's eyes widen.
• Agent_Strelnikov coughs.
• Samantha-Raelin looks a little overwhelmed. "Forgot the kick these deliver."
• Agent_Strelnikov looks at Claudia.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…."
<SCP-347> "Ooh, Samantha, Gerald…you two look a lil' winded…"
<Gerald> "…."

• Agent_Strelnikov wipes a bead of sweat from his forehead. "…Well then."
• Samantha-Raelin grabs Gerald's collar. "No more. You'd just be wasting it on the cookies."

<Gerald> "Erp."
<SCP-347> "Forceable, aint'cha?"

• Samantha-Raelin grins. "You're one to talk."

<SCP-347> "Touche."

• SCP-347 grabs another cookie, holding it up. "…One more, Dmitri."
• Agent_Strelnikov sighs and takes it.

<SCP-347> "For vacation."
<Agent_Strelnikov> 1d6 For vacation.
<Magic_8-Ball> Agent_Strelnikov, For vacation.: 2 [1d6=2]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Mmmmm."
<Gerald> "Actually, Magnus brought a whole can of the stuff that made these cookies. I ended up drinking it without realizing."

• SCP-347 takes her last cookie for hte night and bites it.
• Agent_Strelnikov licks his fingers again.

<SCP-347> 1d6 Hnngh?
<Magic_8-Ball> SCP-347, Hnngh?: 4 [1d6=4]
<Agent_Strelnikov> "So good."

• SCP-347 twitches, gasping for breath a little. "…So not fair."
• Samantha-Raelin drinks two shots to wash down the cookies. She's looking a little woozy.
• Gerald also takes a drink.
• SCP-347 takes a drink herself. "Well..I did what I could, ruskie…"
• Agent_Strelnikov downs another shot.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Is ok."

• Agent_Strelnikov smiles at Claudia.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Question, Claudia…what…what were you gonna do, if I hadn't sprayed you?"
<Samantha-Raelin> "By the way…that was rude."
<SCP-347> "…I dunno."
<Samantha-Raelin> "The paint."
<SCP-347> "Punch Gerald in the balls, probably."
<SCP-347> "S'allright."
<SCP-347> "Not nearly as bad as some of the things I've had sprayed on me."

• Gerald shifts uncomfortably.

<Samantha-Raelin> "Well, can I say sorry for that?"
<SCP-347> "Of course."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Paint is uncalled for."
<SCP-347> "..Aaand I'm sorry for ripping your shirt off."
<SCP-347> "But not really."
<Samantha-Raelin> "I know you're not sorry."

• Gerald coughs. "Well, I'd like to say I'm sorry for starting this whole mess, but truthfully, I'm not. You're both two wonderful women, and now we're all friends, so it worked out well in the end."

<Samantha-Raelin> "Neither are these two for the gawking."

• Agent_Strelnikov is decidedly /not/ sorry.
• Gerald isn't.

<SCP-347> "Just remember, Sam…your might be bigger, but I maintain that mine are nicer."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Maybe…wait."

• Samantha-Raelin drinks another shot.

<Gerald> "…."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Maybe we should test this claim…scientifically!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…."

• Gerald raises his glass. "God bless Russia, and god bless vodka!"
• Agent_Strelnikov sets his glass down and lights a cigarette.

<SCP-347> "SCIENCE."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Wells…hows abouts it?"

• Gerald nods, still red.
• SCP-347 grabs another shot. "I fully approve of this science."

<Samantha-Raelin> "Well, we need to…set the procedures for this test."
<Gerald> "We need a researcher to conduct this test."

• Agent_Strelnikov blinks in disbelief. What fresh hell is this.

<Agent_Strelnikov> Or rather, heaven.
<SCP-347> "Gerald, you're a doctor…right?"
<SCP-347> "Or something close enough."
<Gerald> "Why, yes I am."
<Samantha-Raelin> "And, he has prior experience with both specimens!"
<Samantha-Raelin> "But…bias!"
<SCP-347> "Alas!"
<SCP-347> "We'll need a second party to act at the control!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Who?" He was never a good scientist.
<Samantha-Raelin> "We'll use the ruskie!"
<Gerald> "…."

• Gerald laughs.

<SCP-347> "This is for SCIENCE."
<Samantha-Raelin> "Will this be observational or….hands on?
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Wh-what?"
<Gerald> "I'd like to point out the difficulty in having it just observational with Claudia."
<SCP-347> "I can paint myself."
<Samantha-Raelin> "You make a very good point."
<SCP-347> "Or I suppose I could just slather myself with something."
<SCP-347> "I'm sure I saw strawberry preservatives somewhere in here."
<Samantha-Raelin> "We have preserves in the basement!"
<SCP-347> "Too bad there's no chocolate paint here."
<Samantha-Raelin> "I…I knew I forgot something when I packed."

• Samantha-Raelin downs another shot. "I'll be right back!"

<Gerald> "Hm?"

• Samantha-Raelin stumbles out of her chair, and down to the basement.

<Gerald> "Careful on the stairs!"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Oh my gods."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "They are serious."
<Gerald> "….Wat."

• Samantha-Raelin returns, with strawberry preserves. She is damn drunk, and damn serious!
• Agent_Strelnikov is feeling rather tipsy himself.
• SCP-347 stands up, banging a fist on the table. "YES."
• Samantha-Raelin pushes the strawberry preserves to 347..
• SCP-347 throws her shirtonto Dmitri's head.

<Gerald> "…."

• Agent_Strelnikov picks up the shirt with two fingers.
• Gerald grabs Sam and kisses her, right there.
• SCP-347 quickly tosses her bra onto his head as well. It's red, and lacy

<SCP-347> And it smells like girl.

• Samantha-Raelin kisses back, quite passionately.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…"

• SCP-347 doesn't seem to be noticing them, grabbing the preservatives after pulling her gloves off.
• Agent_Strelnikov can't help but sniff at the shirt. The smell of the perfume takes him back many years.
• SCP-347 starts coating her bare breasts with the strawberry jam, laughing. "SAM YOUR TURN."
• Samantha-Raelin starts to pull away from Gerald to retrieve the jam.
• Agent_Strelnikov looks away.
• Gerald sweeps Sam off her feet and tries to carry her to their room.

<SCP-347> "Aww, no fair!"

• Samantha-Raelin also begins to remove her coat and unbutton her coat. Is swept away by Gerald, jam in hand. Oh, this would be fun.
• Agent_Strelnikov reaches out and pokes Claudia.
• SCP-347 pouts. "…I don't even get anybody to help clean this off me-eep."
• SCP-347 smirks. "…Yes?"
• Agent_Strelnikov is so torn right now.

<SCP-347> "..Say it, ruskie."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "….M-…"
<Agent_Strelnikov> "…motor….boat."

• Samantha-Raelin In secret, a Chechen spy is outside the window. He almost breaks cover to help the invisible woman out.
• Agent_Strelnikov shakes his head violently.
• SCP-347 is leaning down by him rather obviously. Poor guy. Strawberry tats in his face and all the reasons in the world not to go crazy.

<SCP-347> "Motorboat, mmmm?"

• Agent_Strelnikov runs a hand through his hair.

<SCP-347> "…You know, with them out of the room…" She whispers. "…Nobody would ever tell Break."
<SCP-347> "..After all, it's a vacation. And what happens on vacation, stays there."

• Agent_Strelnikov chokes a bit.

<Agent_Strelnikov> "…Tell me she will understand."
<Agent_Strelnikov> "Please. Please tell me."
<SCP-347> "She will. You're drunk as hell and the sluttiest SCP took advantage of you. True story."
<SCP-347> "I'd rather she be angry with me, than with you."

• Agent_Strelnikov grabs Claudia and pulls her on top of him. FADE TO BLACK.