Agent Strelnikov And The Fascist Bikers Of Molotov Cocktail

After Mann's rolled cliche turned out to be "Biker", the following occurred.

For best effects, choose one of the following two soundtracks:

[21:06] * DrMann is wearing a leather jacket over his labcoat.
[21:06] * Rights blushes and smiles at Lurker
[21:06] <Prof_Kain> "Do any of these vices specifically affect your liver and kidneys?"
[21:06] <Rights> "Thank you…"
[21:07] * Lurker flickers his tongue.
[21:07] * Agent_Strelnikov looks at Mann.
[21:07] <Lurker> "You're welcome."
[21:07] <Agent_Strelnikov> "….Nice jacket."
[21:07] <DrMann> "Thank you."
[21:08] * Rights gives Lurker a little kiss on the cheek.
[21:08] <DrMann> "I've recently taken up motorcycling."
[21:08] <pooryoric> "motorcycling?"
[21:08] <Agent_Strelnikov> "I once rode motorcycle."
[21:08] * Lurker grabs Rights by her labcoat and gets himself a proper kiss.
[21:08] <Sorts> "Y…yes. My kidneys are like, brillo pads."
[21:09] <Prof_Kain> "I'll be the judge of- whoa."
[21:09] <pooryoric> "you okay, kain?"
[21:09] <DrMann> "I particularly enjoy the camaraderie with my fellow enthusiasts."
[21:09] <Prof_Kain> "Fine. Just old fashioned I guess."
[21:10] <DrMann> "Why, my new friend Bulldog gave me this jacket."
[21:10] <pooryoric> "mann."
[21:10] <pooryoric> "you joined a biker gang?"
[21:10] * Rights kisses Lurker back with a little squeak of surprise.
[21:10] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…Bull…dog."
[21:10] <DrMann> "Yes. They're really quite delightful fellows, if a little low on hygiene."
[21:10] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…Where can I find them."
[21:11] * Lurker pulls Rights onto the chair with him and cuddles tightly without pulling away.
[21:11] * pooryoric glances at rights and lurker.
[21:12] * Sorts decides it’s a good time to go before the conversation returns to his innards, and he waves to all before hustling back to the horrors awaiting in his office.
[21:12] <DrMann> "They hang out at a delightful little establishment called the Molotov."
[21:12] <pooryoric> "laters, sorts."
[21:12] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…Molotov."
[21:12] <pooryoric> "oh, i know the molotov."
[21:12] <Prof_Kain> "Heh heh heh. I can still creep out the best of them,"
[21:12] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Doktor Mann."
[21:12] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Can I make borrow of your keys."
[21:12] * Rights snuggles in warmly.
[21:13] <pooryoric> "the bouncer there used to help me out occasionally…"
[21:13] <Agent_Strelnikov> "I must pick up…eh…groceries."
[21:13] <DrMann> "Very well. But bring Elizabeth back in one piece."
[21:13] <pooryoric> "you have business at the cocktail, red?"
[21:13] * DrMann hands Strelnikov a set of keys with a thermometer keychain.
[21:14] <Rights> "Dmitri, since when do you need groceries?"
[21:14] * pooryoric looks curiously at strelnikov.
[21:14] <Agent_Strelnikov> "….Since now."
[21:14] <pooryoric> "you… may not want to go alone."
[21:14] * Agent_Strelnikov hops up and twirls the keys on his hand.
[21:14] * Agent_Strelnikov walks towards his room.
[21:15] <Agent_Strelnikov> A few moments later, he is seen walking past the breakroom in the other direction, carrying a long rifle with a bayonet.
[21:15] <Prof_Kain> "Huh…"
[21:15] <Rights> "…huh."
[21:15] <Prof_Kain> "Jinx!"
[21:15] * Agent_Strelnikov starts Mann's motorcycle. You can hear it from the breakroom.
[21:15] <Prof_Kain> "You owe me a pie Agatha!"
[21:15] <DrMann> "Oh dear. I should have asked him to pick up some biscuits."
[21:16] <pooryoric> "wait, your bike's name is elizabeth?"
[21:16] <DrMann> "Yes. She's an excellent piece of engineering."
[21:16] * Doctor_Light blinks. "Alright then."
[21:16] * Lurker gently noses into Rights' neck, purring.
[21:16] <pooryoric> "why elizabeth?"
[21:17] <Prof_Kain> "So Light, I take it the squirrel was… unhelpful."
[21:17] * Agent_Strelnikov soon realizes he isn't sure where The Molotov is. He pulls into a gas station to ask for directions.
[21:17] * pooryoric glances at rights and lurker. "do you two need a few minutes?"
[21:17] <Agent_Strelnikov> While he's there, he decides to fill Mann's petrol tank out of courtesy.
[21:17] <Rights> "What? Since when do I need to owe you a pie, Kain?" Rights asks, snuggling back against Lurker and sticking her tongue out at Yoric.
[21:18] <DrMann> "After the Queen, of course."
[21:18] * Agent_Strelnikov pulls onto the highway. The rifle looks a bit silly sticking up into the air.
[21:18] * pooryoric flips out a cell phone and dials strelnikov's number.
[21:18] <Prof_Kain> "… I called jinx…."
[21:18] * Lurker blinks to Yoric. "Try a few hours."
[21:18] <pooryoric> "ah, hang on, lurker."
[21:18] * Agent_Strelnikov wobbles a bit as he pulls out his phone. "Yes?"
[21:19] <Prof_Kain> "The Queen? Pah, never liked the monarchy."
[21:19] <pooryoric> "ah, red? there's a bouncer there called biggsy. let him live for me, kay?"
[21:19] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…Okay!" He closes the phone and puts it in a pocket. More wobbling, followed by a recovery.
[21:20] <pooryoric> "excelsior. now, mann. what you're telling me is that you named your hardcore biker rig after the queen of england?"
[21:20] <DrMann> "Biggsy? Why would he be hurting Biggsy?"
[21:21] <pooryoric> "bouncers are notorious for entering thoughtlessly into conflict, mann."
[21:21] <DrMann> "Ah. Biggsy is rather over-zealous."
[21:21] * Agent_Strelnikov pulls into the parking lot of The Molotov. It has a big neon sign and lots of bikes are parked in the lot.
[21:21] <DrMann> "He got into a fight with Toenail the other day over a cocktail olive."
[21:21] <pooryoric> "by way of it being his profession, yes."
[21:22] <DrMann> "I ended up having to straighten out both their noses."
[21:22] <Prof_Kain> "I wonder how much of the place will be left when he's finished."
[21:22] <DrMann> "I am looking forward to drinks with the fellows tonight."
[21:22] <Doctor_Light> "You bet, Kain. It thought I was a threat- despite the fact that I've been feeding it for six months- and started heating up. Fucking heat squirrels. I barely got out."
[21:22] * Agent_Strelnikov points angrily at a group of nearby bikers decked out in leather, unslinging the rifle in the process.
[21:22] <Doctor_Light> "Is there ice in here? Oh, good, yes."
[21:22] <Agent_Strelnikov> [this reminds me of the godfather for some reason]
[21:22] <Agent_Strelnikov> [you guys chatting idly in the break room as strelnikov commits murder]
[21:22] * Doctor_Light paws through the freezer.
[21:23] * Agent_Strelnikov shoots two bikers as Light examines the freezer.
[21:23] * pooryoric nootices doctor_light for the first time. "oh, hi. i'm not sure i've ever actually met you."
[21:23] <DrMann> "They're a very nice group, really."
[21:23] <Prof_Kain> "This is why I prefer to work with humanoid subjects, but then again, I have to put up with their biannual physicals."
[21:23] <DrMann> "Bulldog is a principal at the local highschool."
[21:23] * Agent_Strelnikov clubs a biker in the mouth with the butt of his rifle, then runs another through with the bayonet.
[21:23] <pooryoric> "is he?"
[21:23] <DrMann> "And Toenail works at the battered women's shelter."
[21:23] <Doctor_Light> "I don't think I've ever met you. I'm Sophia Light, I'd shake your hand if I could."
[21:24] <DrMann> "Oh, yes. That's where I met him."
[21:24] * Agent_Strelnikov steps over the body of a bleeding biker. His arm has a toe tattooed on it. He looks down and fires a bullet into the man's head.
[21:24] <pooryoric> [seriously. bikers are usually doctors or lawyers. they have to be, to afford the bikes.]
[21:24] * Agent_Strelnikov kicks over his bike.
[21:24] <Prof_Kain> "I'm Professor Kain Crow. A paw will do miss."
[21:24] <DrMann> "And Hellface Johanssen is a docctor at a local clinic. Very nice fellow. Makes house calls, you know."
[21:24] * Prof_Kain raises his paw.
[21:25] * Agent_Strelnikov clubs and shanks more bikers as they exit the establishment. This is causing quite a commotion.
[21:25] <pooryoric> "doctor johanssen has a motorcycle?"
[21:25] <DrMann> "Yes. It's a very nice one. A custom job he special ordered."
[21:25] <pooryoric> [mann. remind me to hug you.]
[21:25] * Agent_Strelnikov spots a very nice bike. He pops the tire with his bayonet.
[21:25] <DrMann> "He dresses at Santa every year and delivers presents, which he carries in the sidecar."
[21:25] * Agent_Strelnikov is now surrounded by angry bikers.
[21:26] <pooryoric> "really?"
[21:26] * Agent_Strelnikov begins slaughtering them, as well.
[21:26] * pooryoric pulls out his phone and dials strel again.
[21:26] <DrMann> "Oh, my yes. The children's faces do light up so."
[21:26] * Agent_Strelnikov bashes someone with a hellish face with the grip of his pistol and answers his phone. "Somewhat busy."
[21:27] <Doctor_Light> "No, no, my hands are burnt. The squirrel again." She nods to Kain and Yoric.
[21:27] * Agent_Strelnikov is surrounded by dead and dying bikers.
[21:27] <pooryoric> "sorry. i was just going to ask you to grab me the cashbox on your way out. oh, and an order of curly fries."
[21:27] <Prof_Kain> "Ah, yes. Sorry."
[21:27] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Right." He closes the phone and enters the front door.
[21:27] * Agent_Strelnikov pushes away a rent-a-cop security guard and strides to the bar, covered in dirt and blood.
[21:28] <Agent_Strelnikov> "….Vodka. Curly fries."
[21:28] <pooryoric> "well, it's nice to meet you, miss light."
[21:28] * Agent_Strelnikov pounds the bar with his fist, uncurling it to reveal a 20 dollar bill. He always did believe in tipping well.
[21:28] <DrMann> "And everyone gets together all the time for charity work. Why, just last weekend we cleaned up a stretch of highway we adopted."
[21:28] <pooryoric> "i've wondered what bikers do all day."
[21:28] <Prof_Kain> "You know, if you soak that in 447-2 it should clear right up."
[21:29] <Agent_Strelnikov> The waitress tending bar looks extremely nervous. She slides him an entire bottle of vodka and a hastily prepared basket of fries. "…D-Do you w-want the cashbox too?"
[21:29] <Agent_Strelnikov> "….No. I am not thief."
[21:29] <Doctor_Light> "Yes, good to meet you too."
[21:29] * Agent_Strelnikov sticks the bottle in his pocket and turns to leave. He stops.
[21:29] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…I need box for fries."
[21:29] <Doctor_Light> "Streln's been gone a while for groceries, hasn't he?"
[21:29] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Ketchup too please."
[21:29] <Doctor_Light> "I guess traffic can get bad around here."
[21:29] <Agent_Strelnikov> She blinks and throws a box at him, then ducks under the bar. More bikers appear, wielding baseball bats and other menacing looking melee weapons.
[21:30] * Agent_Strelnikov grumbles as he dumps the basket of fries into the box.
[21:30] <pooryoric> "yeh… we've had a lot of bikers recently clogging the roads… i have a feeling that problem may clear itself up soon."
[21:30] * Agent_Strelnikov is accosted by an angry biker with a long beard. He grabs the beard and pulls him down into the bar, then smashes his neck with the butt of the rifle.
[21:31] * Agent_Strelnikov shanks the man behind him and fires a round into his chest to dislodge the rifle.
[21:31] * Agent_Strelnikov stands back and cycles the action. A smoking casing of 7.62x54r lands in the other mann's beard, starting a small beard fire.
[21:31] <pooryoric> [thank you kindly.]
[21:31] * Agent_Strelnikov weeps at the beauty of this.
[21:31] * Agent_Strelnikov kicks another man in the shins with his jackboots. They glisten with the blood of the fallen.
[21:32] * Agent_Strelnikov crooks the box of fries under his arm and kicks the doors open. Smoke pours out behind him as he steps into the light of the parking lot. There are a few more bikers.
[21:32] * Agent_Strelnikov drops the rifle and begins taking potshots at them with his Makarov.
[21:32] * Agent_Strelnikov wishes he had a cigarette.
[21:33] * Agent_Strelnikov drops the last of them, picks up his rifle, and steps over their bodies. It makes a squishing noise that is generally repulsive and disgusting.
[21:33] * pooryoric heads for the counter, and sets out a pack of ciggarettes and a fresh cup of coffee.
[21:33] <pooryoric> "he should be back in…"
[21:33] * Agent_Strelnikov opens his cell phone and calls Yoric.
[21:33] * pooryoric checks his watch.
[21:33] * pooryoric answers. "ah, yeh?"
[21:33] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…You wanted season fries, yes?"
[21:34] <pooryoric> "ppleae."
[21:34] <pooryoric> *please
[21:34] * Agent_Strelnikov sighs. He turns around.
[21:34] * Agent_Strelnikov kicks the doors open again. One of them comes off of its hinges and falls on the body of a rent-a-cop.
[21:34] <Prof_Kain> "Actually, could you get me a hotdog too please?"
[21:34] <pooryoric> "oh, and kain wants a hotdog."
[21:34] * Agent_Strelnikov threads his way through bodies, broken tables and pools of blood, finally ending up at the bar again. He taps the bar and the waitress pops up.
[21:35] * Agent_Strelnikov looks around.
[21:35] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…Sorries. I am want season fries instead."
[21:35] * Agent_Strelnikov slides the box to her.
[21:35] <Agent_Strelnikov> "And can I have hot dog."
[21:35] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Also. Small bottle of vodka? Yes?"
[21:35] <Agent_Strelnikov> She complies, giving him everything he asks for. He throws down another five dollars and walks out.
[21:36] * Agent_Strelnikov steps out of the broken door. He bends down and rips the bandana from the head of one of the dead bikers. He pops open the smaller bottle of vodka and pulls his lighter out.
[21:36] <pooryoric> "so, drmann. what did you guys have planned for tomorrow?"
[21:36] * Agent_Strelnikov stuffs the bandana in the bottle and lights it. It's sweaty, and it takes him a while to get it properly lit. He begins walking calmly to Mann's motorcycle, which is somehow spotless.
[21:37] <DrMann> "Oh, we were going to go play a friendly game of softball with the fire department."
[21:37] <DrMann> "For charity, of course."
[21:37] * Agent_Strelnikov is stopped by a dying biker. He kneels down and looks at him.
[21:37] <pooryoric> "huh. well, i suppose a friendly relationship with the fire department will come in handy one of these days."
[21:37] * Agent_Strelnikov stares at the man. He finds it odd that the man resembles a schoolteacher he had once, in primary school many years ago.
[21:38] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…Call an ambulance…." The man gasps. Dmitri shakes his head. "No."
[21:38] * Agent_Strelnikov flings the bottle of vodka into the pile of bodies. It ignites, burning them.
[21:38] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Call fire department instead."
[21:38] * Agent_Strelnikov fires up Mann's motorcycle and leaves.
[21:38] <Prof_Kain> [Great, now I actually want a hotdog]
[21:39] * pooryoric checks his watch again, and maes sure the coffee is hot.
[21:39] <pooryoric> "he should be back in just a few minutes."
[21:39] * Agent_Strelnikov , after driving on the highway for a few minutes, pulls into a tunnel and after a few more minutes ends up in the Foundation parking lot. They can hear him from the breakroom.
[21:39] * Doctor_Light takes her hands out of the ice. "Ah, much better."
[21:39] <Prof_Kain> "I think that's him now."
[21:39] * Agent_Strelnikov walks into the break room a few minutes after that. His face is black, his hair is disheveled, and his uniform is dirty as hell.
[21:39] <DrMann> "Oh dear."
[21:40] <DrMann> "Bad traffic?"
[21:40] * Agent_Strelnikov slides the box of seasoned fries and a hot dog onto the table and puts his vodka in the fridge.
[21:40] * pooryoric hands strelnikov the coffee and cigarettes.
[21:40] * Agent_Strelnikov tosses Mann his keys.
[21:40] <Doctor_Light> "Traffic accident?"
[21:40] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Thanks."
[21:40] * DrMann catches the keys.
[21:40] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…..Yeah."
[21:40] <Prof_Kain> "Thank you for the hotdog."
[21:40] <pooryoric> "thanks, red. have fun?"
[21:40] * Agent_Strelnikov smiles at Yoric.
[21:40] <Agent_Strelnikov> "I had time of life."
[21:40] <Prof_Kain> "Why can I smell blood? And fear?"
[21:40] * Agent_Strelnikov is a mass-murderer!
[21:40] <pooryoric> "i THOUGHT you'd like that place…"
[21:41] <Agent_Strelnikov> "I did. Nice peoples."
[21:41] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Some of them try to touch Mann's bike. I take care of it."
[21:41] <Prof_Kain> "Actually…"
[21:41] * Agent_Strelnikov breathes a bit heavily.
[21:41] * Prof_Kain looks the russian up and down. "Maybe it's better /not/ to ask…"
[21:41] * Lurker is still cuddled up to Rights on a chair.
[21:41] * Agent_Strelnikov smiles at Kain, his steel teeth have a bit of blood on them.
[21:42] <Prof_Kain> "Wait, you have metal teeth?"
[21:42] * Agent_Strelnikov nods. "I make a few bad jump, yes?"
[21:42] <DrMann> "His regular ones kept breaking."
[21:42] <pooryoric> "red, you got a little…"
[21:42] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Hm?"
[21:42] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Oh."
[21:42] <Prof_Kain> "I could… /improve/ those for you…"
[21:42] * Agent_Strelnikov wipes the blood on his sleeve.
[21:42] <Agent_Strelnikov> "Sorries."
[21:43] <Agent_Strelnikov> "It was not mine, is not problem."
[21:43] * Imants appears behind Stelnikov
[21:43] <Imants> "Have vodka yet?"
[21:43] * Agent_Strelnikov turns around slowly and looks at Imants.
[21:43] <Imants> "Yes?"
[21:43] <Agent_Strelnikov> "…If you drink my vodka."
[21:43] * pooryoric munches happily on his fries, and wonders if the fact that he's amused makes him a bad person.
[21:43] <Agent_Strelnikov> "….I kill you."
[21:43] * Agent_Strelnikov steps out of the room to take a shower. Some dust and smoke falls off as he does, leaving an odd trail behind him.
[21:43] <Imants> "No, see, it'd be my vodka, because you shared with me"
[21:44] <Prof_Kain> "Actually, could someone pass me my dog?"
[21:44] <Prof_Kain> "I'm not allowed on the furniture.
[21:44] <Agent_Strelnikov> [im going to be completely honest]
[21:44] <Agent_Strelnikov> [i dont know what spurred that]
[21:44] * Doctor_Light looks after Streln. "He's weird."
[21:44] * pooryoric hands the hotdog to kain.
[21:44] <Prof_Kain> "Thanks Yoric"
[21:44] <pooryoric> "he's a big angry russian. it's a FUN wierd."
[21:45] * Prof_Kain wolfs down the hotdog.
[21:45] <Rights> [Back, that took too long]
[21:46] <DrMann> [Agent Strelnikov and the Devil Bikers of the Molotov Cocktail]

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